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4 yr old grabbing himself? adult content

My son is almost 5 yrs old and lately he's been walking around grabbing himself. He started to do this a few months ago around the time he said his older cousin thats 10 yrs old was "rubbing is penis on his butt" My son never said he touched his penis tho. But I noticed once he quit going around that cousin, the grabbing himself quit. Well today is started all over again & he was with his dad his weekend which is when he sees that cousin.

Any thoughts? Any one else's 4 yr old boys do this ??


Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I would take your son to a therapist and let him/her advocate for you and your son. They will put in anbother CPS report . . . maybe it can be an extra reminder to your husband that he needs to avoid that 10 yr old and his parents.

    When a chils actually, knowingly kills or tortures and animal, that is a really bad sign, and, actually is reportable all by itself. it is a HUGE indicator that that child is being seriously abused, and is taken very seriously.

    Keep telling your son that he is safe, you are safe, and he will never be in trouble for telling you everything . . . hopefully, he will be open to letting you know if he has been around that cousin . . . then, you call the cops.

    HUGS . . . I am soooo sorry.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:20 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • All boys touch their penises. It's normal. If he shows other signs of sexual abuse then address it, but self-touching and even masturbation at this age is normal.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:46 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Okay, so I wouldn't be so concerned with your son touching his penis . . . but did he tell you that his 10 year old cousin rubbed HIS penis on his but? That is sexual abuse.

    You should call your husband and tell him that your son is not allowed to visit with that cousin. He also should not be left alone with anyone from the cousin's family.

    You also need to decide whether or not you are going to call CPS and report. When a 10 year old is the abuser, that is usually because they are being abused by someone else . . . .the kids probably need some help.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:56 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • it's definitely normal for boys to touch themselves... heck, my son just turned 10 months old and has already been "exploring" himself lol.... but the thing that kinda strikes me as odd/doesn't sit well is that he said his cousin "rubbed on his butt" or something along those lines. i would absolutely look into that if i was you... just to be sure. it can't hurt.. better safe than sorry, for sure. good luck :)

    Answer by jenboben388 at 8:57 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • ladies, by "rubbed his penis on his butt" are we talking bare penis or what? If it was just playing around (as it most likely was) it's no big deal. Let's not jump to the sexual abuse conclusion.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:59 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • There's a restraining order saying that he isn't allowed around that cousin. For the past couple months since the restraining order was put into order, he's been doing great. Yes, my son actually told me & the guardian at litem that his 10 yr old cousin was rubbing his penis on my his butt. Yes that is sexual abuse & it's being looking into. I'm making sure of that, trust me. His father (I was never married to & have been split up for 2 1/2 yrs now) DOESN'T believe our son. He's saying that I'm putting things in our son's head to hurt HIM (to is his father) I'm completely ok with him grabbing himself (I know its normal to a certain extent), I'm just concerned that maybe his dad is taking him around that cousin or maybe just maybe its not just his cousin doing it? My son said he has saw that cousin in a long time & is happy about it. IDK I'm just scared & feel helpless. I'm doing what I legally can right now. I swear to it!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:02 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I know, Ati, but if my son told me that an older boy rubbed his penis on him . . . . my alarm would go off. . . . just saying . .

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:03 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I'm sorry, but any 10 yr old boy (he knows better. He should be exploring with 10 yr old girls or even 10 yr old boys, not 4 yr old boys or girls) thats rubbing his bare penis on my 4 yr old son's butt is SEXUAL ABUSE & I will believe my son until the day I die. My son actually told me he is happy he hasn't had to see that cousin in a long time. Right there tells me its not a game to begin with.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:05 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Anon . . . good for you for pursuing it! You can always call the CPS worker, just for a check-in . . . to make sure there is still no contact . .. you can also bring your son to therapy and get a professional opinion . . .that may help.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:06 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • The day my son told me that, I got with a lawyer & got a restraining order aganist my son going around that cousin or anyone in that individual family. I'm doing what I can legally right now. The only thing I can do next is illegal stuff which will only cause my son more harm right now. What good will I be in prison ? I won't be any good at all bc guess who will get custody of him? HIS FATHER that doesn't believe him.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:08 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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