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What do you think about getting married sooner because of certain provision in parenting plan?

My fiance and I are engaged and have thought seriously about letting his Papa marry us soon so we can live together now without being in contempt of the parenting plan. We just got engaged last month and our wedding isn't going to be until next April. This summer is too soon to plan a wedding and I don't want my wedding in winter or fall. If we got married early we would stilll want the ceremony next april. Any thoughts or advice on the situation?

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Jillian529

Asked by Jillian529 at 8:47 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • That's a good idea, just get married on paper, you don't even have to tell anyone, change your name or wear rings, save that till your ceremony
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:51 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • The only thing I;m afraid of is what my mom will think. She thinks getting married like that will take away from my ceremony and that there would be no point in having a ceremony if we were already married. I think she was just mad then and thought I was making a mistake bc my fiance has 3 kids and a crazy ex wife. She really would like for me to be engaged for awhile in case I change my mind I think. I'm 110% sure about this guy though. We've found a house and I would really love to live in my own house with him without being in contempt.
    Jillian529

    Comment by Jillian529 (original poster) at 8:58 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • If it makes sense for your new blended family to have a marriage sooner, then I think that's the side you need to be on. Postponing it in order to get the big ceremony when it could have lasting damage on how your husband and his children interact seems short-sighted.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 9:14 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • agreed.
    Jillian529

    Comment by Jillian529 (original poster) at 9:18 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • My ex is doing this, marrying quickly so he can get around the parenting plan, so he can leave our kids with his insane fiance so I guess it depends on the circumstances. I don't agree since he is doing it for the wrong reasons, free babysitting, but if you are doing it from a loving relationship with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with then I would do what is best for the whole family.
    t3dragonflies

    Answer by t3dragonflies at 12:30 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • If you are 110% sure then why wait and have to have the April wedding? I have been involved in a wedding(bridesmaid) when the couple had already married in civil ceremony. It was because DF was being deployed and wedding couldn't be planned in time for paperwork. It stole joy from the cermony. Please just think about it. A real wedding is having your closest ppl there parents and the 2 of you.
    Samnbellsmom

    Answer by Samnbellsmom at 12:30 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

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