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Should we tell my husbands family that I'm pregnant??

I am only 4 weeks now so if we do it won't be for another month or so. The situation is, they don't like me (he is Asian, I am white and they wanted him to marry an Asian woman plus, I have a child from another relationship and they don't like that either). His mother came to the wedding ( a month ago) but his dad and sister (who is grown) didn't. As of right now, they are not a part of our lives, they haven't invited us to any birthday parties or holiday parties in a year so I am not even sure if there is a point. See if we tell them, they might decide that they want to see the baby so put up with me but I don't want someone to just put up with me, you know, I would always know that I am only welcome in their home because of the baby. On the other hand, my DH and his mother work in the same hospital and so if we don't tell them, she will hear about it from her coworkers and that would probably hurt.

Answer Question

Asked by JLS2388 at 9:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • i think it would be best for you to tell them/her personally.... but at the same time you should do it when the time is right for you. i agree that it would be more hurtful for her to find out from coworkers... and they sound rather unreasonable, and you certainly don't owe them anything.. but at the same time i think it's better to be the bigger person. so i'd say yes, tell them, but only when it is comfortable for you... and it'd probably be best if they knew before you went into labor at the hospital, lol. good luck :)

    Answer by jenboben388 at 9:04 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Take the high road. Kill them with kindness. Love your husband, treat him time they will come around. If they don't, it is their loss. When your first trimester id closing have your husband call them and if they get negative just tell him to say 'I love you and will be in touch soon. Goodbye"

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:04 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Yeah, you need to tell them. You'll have to live with the fact that they don't accept you. It happens all the time to people, especially when it's interracial. They will come around, but I'd bet it's going to take a long time.

    Answer by Saya at 9:06 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I agree with GrneyedGrandma

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 9:06 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I'd tell them before they could find out. IF they choose to only be part of your life because of the baby well then they could see how much you love your dh and they can find good things about you. IF they choose NOT to be part of any of it.....their loss. Love is blind.....and a child is precious no matter what!

    Answer by brypmom at 9:08 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • My husband is on the fence as to whether he wants them in the baby's life to begin with, I understand that, he says it's up to me if I want to tell them but that doesn't mean they will be apart of the baby's life.

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 9:25 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • you can tell them, but you can tell them in your own time. up to you

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:48 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • It's his family and it should be his decision. But since his mother came to your wedding, I think she has the right to know. I would wait another month or so before I told her. Four weeks isn't very far along so I would wait a little longer. Who knows, when the news comes out maybe the family will be different. Who knows?

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:51 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I would leave the final decision up to him, but would encourage him to tell them and then you kill them with kindness and be the bigger, better person.

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 8:31 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

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