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Going from one child to two..Let me hear your experience!

Soooo, DH has decided he wants another baby. Our first is 18 months old and we miscarried our angel 9 months ago, it was a suprise pregnancy. We plan on trying VERY soon so I'd like to hear your stories of your transition to two children. I have some fears!

Specific things I'd love to hear about is:

1.) How old was child #1 when you gave birth?
2.) How was labor and delivery?
3.) How was child # 1 with the new baby?
4.) Was it hard adjusting to the change?
5.) How did you involve #1 with your pregnancy and when the new baby arrived?
6.) What was everyday life like with child # 1 and a newborn?
7.) Did it cause stress on your relationship with your SO/DH?
8.) How did you squeeze in you time?
9.) Any advice you would give to a second time mom?



Sorry for so many questions, I'm anxious!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • Good luck on your quest - going to bump it for you as I started with two my first pregnancy and have never had just one child at any time. My twins are now 21, my daughter 16, and my youngest son 13.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:08 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • How old was child #1 when you gave birth?
    Ds was 2 years and 4 months old (got preg with number 2 when son was 19 months old)

    2.) How was labor and delivery? Labor was very fast (45 minutes in delivery room before dd made her enterance)

    3.) How was child # 1 with the new baby? My son is an amazing big brother. I think when Lily was born my son was too young to acknowledge how permanent she was and he also didn't try to pick her up, etc but he was willing to help with bringing her blankets, diapers, etc.

    4.) Was it hard adjusting to the change? It was very busy for the first few months. Dd ate ALL THE TIME so I was tied down to the couch bfing most of the time. My 2 biggest thoughts were "how did I think this was so hard with my first (regarding caring for a newborn) and "I would be so bored with only one kid..." cont.
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • The only advice I can give is this: While you are pregnant with #2 (or any child for that matter) you can not imagine your life with the new addition. Once the baby arrives, you won't be able to imagine your life without them.

    Congratulations!!
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:14 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • 1.) How old was child #1 when you gave birth? 19 months
    2.) How was labor and delivery? different than with #1! Faster.
    3.) How was child # 1 with the new baby? WONDERFUL. He had a little puppy doll he wrapped up and babied. He liked bringing little sissy toys.
    4.) Was it hard adjusting to the change? Was more difficult wondering and worrying beforehand. DId have a bit of post pardom which was tough but overall very nice addition. A friend for my first!
    5.) How did you involve #1 with your pregnancy and when the new baby arrived? He came to see us after she was born, and wore his new big brother shirt :) He was little (almost 2)
    6.) What was everyday life like with child # 1 and a newborn? Wonderful. Stayed home a lot!
    7.) Did it cause stress on your relationship with your SO/DH? No.
    8.) How did you squeeze in you time?
    9.) Any advice you would give to a second time mom? Freeze some meals.


    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 10:15 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • 1) Child #1 was 3 months shy of 3 years old when I gave birth.
    2) Labor and delivery with #2 was a breeze compared to #1. Literally 4 pushes, she was out. #1, it was over 2 hours.
    3) Child #1 was generally good with #2, but she's still dealing with jealousy issues.
    4) Yes. It was hard adjusting to the change. People often say it's incrementally harder. I think the emphasis needs to be "harder".
    5) I didn't invovle #1 too much with the new baby. I tried, but she wasn't interested in helping. She wanted my attention.
    6) I know I couldn't take it, so I still sent #1 to school during my 3 month maternity. I went back to work and both are in school fulltime
    7) Sure. We are still struggling to find time for each other. We are trying to set a date every other week.
    8) Going back to work is "me" time. At least I get to go to the bathroom without someone following me, have lunch with 2 hands...
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 10:15 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Continue ....

    8) Sometimes I take Friday afternoon off just for myself. Pedicure, shopping or just stay home and watch TV.
    9) Don't inconvenience yourself b/c you think someone's feeling is hurt. You don't have time or energy for that.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 10:17 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • 1.) 3 2.) i had to get a 2ndc section but after i got a yeast infection around my incision and got double pneumonia3.) great like a mini mommy 4.) kind of its like having your first its weird until your use to it then your a pro lol 5.) she would tell my belly bed time stories and rub lotion on my belly and loved to feel her kick and when she was born we had a present from the new baby to big sister she loved that my dd would help put lotion on the baby shake the bottle 6.) crazy but fun 7.) yes until we both go comfortable and knew the roles we played 8.) we put the girls to bed at 8 and have an hour to ourselves at night but now that they are older its easier during the day 9.) dont wait to long in between because they won be close and play buddies.

    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 10:19 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • 1.) 22 months
    2.) Labor came on fast and hard. But I had a vaginal birth (VBAC), which was all I really cared about.
    3.) Baby was in the NICU for 10 days (not birth-related), but when she came home, my son was great with her.
    4.) Emotionally, for me, yes. My son was my world, and I resented this new baby for coming along and infringing on my time and relationship with him. But I got over it. It especially helped that he was so accepting of her.
    5.) I made a point to keep US time as constant as possible. I read a bedtime story to my son every night. I took him to the store with me, just us.
    6.) Hectic at first. But once a routine was established, it got a lot easier.
    7.) Not immediately. It's been more stressful since she got old enough to want (and take) his toys, lol.
    8.) When they sleep. They both nap. ;)
    9.) Make sure your first still gets one-on-one attention. I swear that's the reson my first never got jealous.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 10:30 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • My son was 18 months old when my daughter was born. And he was amazing with her he gave her a bottle when she wanted to.my labor was fast not even 1/2 hour and a lot easier than the first.and I always said to our son he had to be a big brother now..and it was no trouble adjusting with the new baby nut when she got older it got or is a little difficult. And luckily me and my husband never had issues. And well three is no me time but I don't have anyone to watch my kids unless an emergency like work....but have a good support system get out with your man or even by yourself and keep your necessary calm
    And also to keep chil#1 from being jealous either you or his dad take him like to the store by himself. It helps...and. goodluck...
    amanda81919

    Answer by amanda81919 at 10:44 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Think Nike hunny, Just Do It! lol My son was 14 months old when my daughter was born. He was too little to explain anything about the pregnancy, but he was raised in a loving and affectionate family so he was naturally that way to baby. By the time he was 18 months old, he would grab her binky if she cried, or would run for a bottle sometimes when she woke up, he always wanted to help. He is now almost 6, and she is almost 5. They are still inseperable and love each other tremedously. Since then, I had two more. When my first daughter was 2 and a half when baby 3 came along and they adored her!!! Always holding her hands, rubbing her feet, singing to her. They were incredible! Then when baby 4 came along, they were little professional siblings! LOL The more the merrier. I could never imagine having just one- don't worry about it. It's not the kind of thing you can plan completely. Let it happen, then figure it out as you go.:)
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 10:49 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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