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Should I move to a rural part of the city to possibly benefit one of my children?

I have 2 children that live with me. A 14 y/o son and a 7 y/o daughter. My son has a learning disability and hasnt done well in years. He is only in the 7th grade and may need to repeat. He also has some behavior issues that make it hard for me to manage him and keep our household running smoothly. This past weekend my children and I went to visit my cousin, who is a teacher,and after the weekend was over,she expressed a desire to "home school my son", and she gave a list of all the positives for him. 1) Its the country,he can run where ever he wants to with the dog and will not get in trouble. 2) Her dad has been taking him to shoot b b guns and spending quality time with him. 3) She says he could slip through the cracks if I dont let her home school him, etc...that being said, I appreciate the interest and concern for my son,but she now would like me to move to the city that she lives in (40 min.away) I understand that my son would possibly not get into so much trouble if the environment were so different and someone took an interest in his learning, but I do not think that is enough reason to move out of my house. I work from home and have enrolled in the local college this summer for some classes. She thinks that I should put my wants and needs aside to ensure my sons .Any advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Hmm... I think you're right, you have to look at all angles. Personally, I'm a big fan of country living AND homeschooling, and I think a move like that could very well benefit BOTH your children. But it certainly must be weighed in relation to everything else. Could you do school by correspondence?

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:45 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Could he stay with them while you attend the classes?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I do not know why she thinks that she could do this. Maybe you could try it for a month in the summer.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:48 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • You are the only one who knows the situation, what your son needs and how desperately he needs it. Your 7 year old will probably adjust whereever you go. Why don't you list out all the positives vs. negative ? One thing to consider is your son is at the turning point. Timing is everything. Have you talked to him about what he wants? (not that you have to always listen to his opinion, but it's good to illicit it). I'll probably be insulting somone by saying this, but why is your cousin and her dad taking such deep interest in your son? Be sure there is no ulterior motif. Nowadays, you can't be too careful.

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 11:53 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • From what you've said (and correct me if I'm wrong) it sounds like she is pushing and trying hard to convince you that this is the best move. That would make me a bit wary, honestly. Is she suggesting that you pay her to homeschool your son? I'm not meaning to say there's an ulterior motive, and I may be reading something into it that isn't intended because it's hard to read between the lines of a written message. At any rate, I wouldn't uproot the family for something that hasn't even been attempted yet... what would happened if you moved everyone down there and found that this doesn't work well for your son at all? If you want to do this, I would suggest some kind of trial period to see how this kind of environment works for your son before you sell the house, switch schools, and relocate.

    Answer by Freela at 11:56 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Since you work at home and classes are online now you can move and it wouldn't make a big sacrifice for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Okay, I can see her point. At 14, I was in 9th grade. Your son is in 7th and may repeat. That puts him 3 years behind. Maybe she really is just trying to help? Maybe she sees how hard it is for him with his disabilities, and for you with having to handle it on your own, and wants to take some of the pressure off of you? If you work at home, you wouldn't need to change jobs. Your daughter, at her age, would be able to adjust if you start her new year at a new school. So if you move during the summer, it may be easier on her.

    Honestly, if your son is that far behind, I think you should try whatever you can to catch him up.

    Answer by laird6372 at 12:41 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

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