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What should i do about my youngest daughters dad???

Ok so i know i have talked to some of you moms about this but i just want to hear some opinions from some other moms just to help make up my mind.

So my youngest daughters dad is in jail for aggravated robbery and a few weeks ago he asked me to help his lawyer and friends with his case so that maybe he will get out sooner. I wanted to only because he has never been able to see my daughter but im still undecided because my boyfriend has practically adopted her as his own and i know it will hurt him if her dad does get out and tries to get involved in her life, but on the other hand i feel like i should give him an opportunity to take his place as her dad even if we arent together. Please tell me what you think i should do?!?!?!

Answer Question
 
mommy.mode1993

Asked by mommy.mode1993 at 11:55 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Why in God's name would you help a man like that get out of jail.... so he can rob more people????
    WHY would you expose your daughter to a man like that???
    You already made a horrible mistake by having a baby with this man... at least keep her around moral people and not HIM.
    Biology does NOT make a father.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I felt the same confusion years ago. I decided to help the dad and it was the worst mistake I ever made. If I had it to do again I'd walk away.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:57 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Help him as in help pay his lawyer? I personally think he is in there for a reason and needs to serve the time. Lawyers will take whatever money you throw at them, but this is not your fight.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 11:58 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • To whoever answered anonymously- it was not a planed pregnancy and he never acted like that or did things like that when i was with him.

    To admckenzie- Thank you for helping answer my question.

    To txdaniella- I dont really know what he meant by help his friends but if he did mean pay his lawyer i will not do because i can not financially afford to pay his lawyer then him still get the maximum amount of time which would be 25 years.
    mommy.mode1993

    Comment by mommy.mode1993 (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Well regardless to anything he is still your childs father, and whether he gets out with or without your help in the future whether its 5 yrs or 25yrs your boyfriend will have to get used to the fact that he is her biological father and will probably at some point try to contact his daughter- thats something anyone with a step child should prepare themselves for, and in the long run it will be your daughters choice as she gets to an appropriate age as to whether she wants to give him that chance or not.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 12:15 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • and as to whether you help or not, thats entirely upto you, you have to think about how you feel in your heart and mind, you know more about his case and him as a person that any of us on here do, good luck with your decision.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 12:17 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • If your daughter has never seen him, I say, try to establish a relationship, but don't help him out of jail...Let her write letters, send pictures, draw pictures, etc. Personally, I feel that yes, he is her father. But he has shown a violent and immoral side, and it'd probably be best to limit that contact until he can show/prove that he's changed.

    Best of luck to you and your girl!
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 12:27 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • To princess- He understands the part of her dad at some point will try to see her because my oldest daughter always goes with her dad but i think what makes him more comfortable because her gma is the one who always picks her up. And thank you for helping answer my question.
    mommy.mode1993

    Comment by mommy.mode1993 (original poster) at 12:28 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • To laird- Thank you for the advice and for helping answer my question.
    mommy.mode1993

    Comment by mommy.mode1993 (original poster) at 12:31 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Okay first off....dont help a man get out of jail. he's in there for a reason. Even though it was robbery, he could still hurt your daughter. you never know. another thing is....this is about your daughter's best interest. if he's not a good fit for a dad then don't do it. its okay to let him be involved. but hes in jail for now.
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 12:44 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

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