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Single (or former single) moms. when did you introduce your BF to your kids

I'm not in a relationship right now, just starting to maybe see someone. but I've been thinking about this whole thing.
I know I don't want to introduce my kids to any boyfriend for a while, until i know he will be around for a long time, because I wouldn't want to confuse them.
but he has a daughter about 8 months older than them, so he suggested a play date sometime..
would it be inappropriate to arrange a play date with the kids so we can both hangout, but not be touchy feely, holding hands, kissing etc. just focus on the kids?
or would you still wait? (IF i ever did the play date, it would still be far far in the future)

just wondering when you all let your kids and boyfriend bond, how far into the relationship?

 
ElsaSalsaaa

Asked by ElsaSalsaaa at 12:12 AM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,139 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I introduced my kids to my bf after we had been dating for 6 months and knew it was going to be a very long term thing. He's now my husband and we've been married for 3 years. He is the only guy I dated that my kids ever met and I'm glad I waited that long to introduce them to each other. Had we not had some mutual friends that we'd both known forever, I might have waited even longer.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:30 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I waited until we were talking about engagement (almost 2 years)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I introduced them after 6 months, it's now been about 8, they really only see eachother twice a month, my son likes him, but isn't super attatched. It's been really hard and scary for me, he's an amazing man, but GL
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:14 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Well, my son was with me when I met my husband. In fact, my son liked him and I didn't. When we started dating my husband took us both out on weekends that my son didn't go to his dad's, but I didn't introduce him as my boyfriend....just my friend, and my son actually thought Paul was HIS friend, it was really nice because I knew from the beginning they got along. We didn't show physical affection like holding hands, etc., until we'd gotten serious.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:20 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • i introduced my son after a few weeks .. i felt like he was the one {he is the father of my newborn and weve been together a year}
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 12:21 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I think it was only a couple of months in. We moved quite fast, though. He'd been hearing about Aden for a long time, and he'd heard us together over the phone from back when he and I were just friends.
    We're not together anymore, but we're friends and roommates (long story) and Aden still absolutely loves him.
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 12:22 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • About two months. He has a daughter about three months older than my odd. It was more of a playdate with them at first. That was five years ago and weve been married for almost three years now. Plus, we have two new additions.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 12:33 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • My boyfriend met my daughter (who was 2 at the time) on our second date. I had planned to wait a while longer, since my ex and I had agreed no to introduce her to people we were dating for a while, but my ex stopped taking her on his visitation days and told me to go ahead and let her meet him......we didn't do anything touchy in front of her for a while though. It was a picnic at the park and she rode her bike and stuff while we walked.

    I think as long as your child doesn't feel neglected because mommy (or daddy) is only concentrating on their boyfriend/girlfriend, it's fine. When you have a child and are in a relationship, the needs of the child have to come before the relationship in the beginning when things are new and they are confused and unsure of what is going on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • My SO met my kids about 3 weeks into our relationship. That was not typical for me, though. My usual rule was 6 months and it had to be serious. It was very different with my SO, though, and it just seemed like a good idea to introduce them that early. I've never regretted it. I think it really depends on how you intend to introduce him, how you divide attention between them all, and how often you do this. I wouldn't make a habit out of introducing new boyfriends to your kids, but if you really feel like it's serious and you want them to meet so you can see how they get along, I don't think it's such a horrible thing.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:55 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I knew I would never get married again and my children knew that as well (they were 6 and 7ish when I divorced their father). Whether or not I introduced them to anyone I was dating depending on if the date included kids. I was single for more than 20 years and my children never attached to any of the men I dated..except for the man I eventually married. They always told me I would marry him.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:56 AM on Apr. 19, 2011