Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How to trust and feel the same way again?

How do you trust and feel the same way again after your significant other has cheated on you? TO me If you love someone you wouldnt cheat on them. What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 AM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I wouldn't be able to ever trust him again.. in my marriage; infidelity is a deal breaker...

    Answer by NoRest4theWickd at 7:14 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I can't . Once they cheated on me I would always be looking for him to cheat again and never have peace.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 7:38 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • i would re-discuss it. He might of already told you why he did it and pleaded for your forgiveness but i would re-discuss it again and then be sure to tell him that he won't do it again because this is his last chance.

    If you want to regain that trust, you can't smother him and watch hiim like a hawk (obviously he's not going to do it in front of you), you have to live like he never did it and if he does do it again, you will find out.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 7:51 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • It happened to me and it was not fixable. Even though he probably was sorry and probably never happened again I didn't trust him and put him through hell and 100 questions if he walked in the door a half second late. So I'm not even sure if it was worse for him or me. Sorry I don't have advice :)

    Answer by yesmaam at 8:31 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I told my husband there are two things that I won't forgive him for if he ever cheated on me or did drugs. I believe that he broke your trust and in my opinion divorce should be in your future, but if you want to work your problems out then you should be able to forgive. Maybe you should try some counceling. Good luck

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 9:13 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Cheating is a definite deal breaker for me. Once trust is broken there will always be doubt in your can you live happily with that?

    Answer by meooma at 9:14 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • its been almost two years and the trust still isn't all the way back. i say try some individual counseling to find out your own emotions and what to do. i read a lot of books too. in the end you have to deciede what best for you. i you dont have money for counseling try some depression hotlines or some other things like that, just find people to talk to .. i know how it hurts so you will need all the emotional support you can get.

    Answer by NaiveDream at 10:30 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Depends if you can forgive him.

    Answer by Nickcole23 at 11:47 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • All I can tell you is how I handled that issue.

    My husband had to earn my trust back.. I didn't just give it, he had to earn it.. Just like I didn't just give him a 2nd chance when he had a one night stand. He had to earn that chance, he had to prove to me that he was worthy of that chance and that he TRULY wanted that chance.

    My husband worked to earn my trust again. He had to prove himself all over again to me, just like he did in the very beginnings of our relationship. When someone cheats, trust is broken, that trust was one of the base foundations of that relationship. The old relationship is dead..A new one must be rebuilt in place of the old one if a couple is to successfully reconcile and rebuild after infidelity. It is during this rebuilding process, that the cheater must work to prove themselves and to earn trust.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:30 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • You will always have it in the back of your mind, and may always have some mistrust. You just have to decide if you are willing to deal with that in order to make it work. My husband and I had a great relationship and for some reason he cheated and we split up and almost divorced. He realized what he lost and came crawling back. I was miserable witthout him and was willing to forgive him because no matter how hard I tried(months, dating other guys) I couldnt let him go. The main thing is, is it a relationship worth saving? If he is a good guy, other than that one foul up, and you really love will work. Sometimes men realize the grass usually isnt greener on the other side...but if he crosses the fence again get rid of him.

    Answer by Dream9703 at 4:03 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.