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2 Bumps

GAINING CUSTODY

I AM VERY CONCERNED FOR MY STEP DAUGHTER. SHE IS 4 MONTHS OLD, AND HER MOTHER IS NOT SHOWING THAT SHE IS ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR HER. MY HUSBAND WILL BE RELOCATING WITH ME IN A MONTH. WHILE POSSIBLY LEAVING HER THERE. I WAS TOLD THAT HE COULD ASK TO SEE A JUDGE AND ASK FOR TEMPORARY CUSTODY. AT LEAST UNTIL SHE FIGURES OUT IF SHE WANTS TO WORK, GET PUBLIC ASSISTANCE OR SOMETHING. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE LIKE THIS BEFORE TOO PROUD TOO SEEK HELP FROM ANYONE. BUT, WISHES TO USE THE CHILD AS A TOOL TO MAYBE PERSUADE MY HUSBAND TO BE AROUND. THAT DOES NOT WORK EITHER. WE HAVE LESS THAN 30 DAYS BEFORE LEAVING THE STATE. I COULD GO ON FOREVER AND YOUR MOUTH WOULD JUST DROP. I'D LIKE TO ADOPT HER, I'VE RAISED 4 KIDS AND GRAND KIDS. AND MY INCOME IS GOOD. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Answer Question
 
mrs.chisolm

Asked by mrs.chisolm at 7:21 AM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Adoption

Level 5 (68 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • What does your husband think of that idea of adoption?
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 7:31 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Even if he gains custody of her he may not be able to leave the state with her unless her mother and the court give him permission to.
    MrsMWF

    Answer by MrsMWF at 7:48 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • If the mom is remotely interested in being a mother then adoption is out of the question. A judge will not terminate rights just because. You can probably get custody of his child, but again, it all depends on the evidence, circumstances and all of that. If you are planning to move that could possibly complicate things. My best advice is to see a family lawyer.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:12 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Unless biomom is willing to sign the TPR (termination of parental rights) or unless the judge/court/lawyers/CPS deemed her as unfit you will never be able to adopt. I wish it was easier but it isn't going to happen. Just my experience.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:10 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • So let me get this straight. Your husband had sex with a woman 13 months ago and she had a child. Now because of monetary reasons you both want to take her baby. Just because you leave state doesn't mean your husband gets to be a deadbeat dad. He should still give her child support. Wow what a winning pair you sound like.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:44 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Quoting meooma - Unless biomom is willing to sign the TPR (termination of parental rights) or unless the judge/court/lawyers/CPS deemed her as unfit you will never be able to adopt. I wish it was easier but it isn't going to happen. Just my experience.

    I'm just disgusted by about every word in this answer. Just disgusted. How dare you call her a biomom and wish it was easy to take her baby from her. What kind of person are you?
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:46 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I can't believe you are trying to de-baby this woman. HER baby is only 4 months old and she does need time to figure out what she wants to do. Hell it took me 1 1/2 years to be ready to go back to work as I wanted the bonding time with my daughter. Shame on you. This child is HERS and HIS. Nothing you have said shows that she is endangering her child.
    vampporcupine

    Answer by vampporcupine at 3:21 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • It amazes me how many ''baby hungry'' women there are in this world!!! The poor woman is struggling, give her help or at least get off of her back so maybe she can breath and clear her head enough to decide what she wants to do with her child!!!
    TiffyTaffy79

    Answer by TiffyTaffy79 at 5:27 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Onethentwins...holy crap! You read my mind! Girl, that is spooky. Yeah, I was confused at the time line, ages, and stepdaughter (?!) thing. Not to judge OP but this baby gots some drama. I'm sorry, but if my husband had sex with another woman, she had a baby, and....say what?! It would be a big ass Hell no. Not just a little no but a HELL NO! I would be packing up me, my child, all of my child's belongings, emptying out the acconts, and I wouldn't even give a Dear John letter. I would sue for custody of my child, he could have every other weekend and every other holiday, joint birthday party for our child - that isy request to the judge if my husband dared to be that dumb. And my concern is not over tge baby or the girl's mother. My concern would be getting checked for STD's. Seriously OP? I don't know what your nubby said, but girl he can't be that good of a sweet talker.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:47 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I agree with gemgem and meooma

    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 5:36 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

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