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Need help w/ a sad 3 year old....

I have two kids and babysit two other kids during the day. My husband and the kids' mother are deployed. They've been coming here for a couple of months but this morning is the first time dealing with the little girl. She's suuuuper sad today, almost depressed. She just wants to sit on the couch and cry. Everything makes her cry, sometimes even nothing and she's only been here for an hour! Her dad said she was like this last night andwouldn't eat anything for him, and nothing for me this morning. I'm at a loss except lettting her just sit on my lap and cry in my neck (which she's doing right now). She keeps saying she misses her mommy and we've always talked about her mommy and how she'll come home, etc. I know she's 3 and doesn't exactly understand the concept of a deployment. Any advice? I feel so bad for this little girl.


Asked by marine_wife0520 at 8:10 AM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • Oh, I feel so sad. I am glad you can hug and love her. Could she draw a picture for her mom? And maybe a letter with her dictating to you? Even if mailing it isn't possible she could save it for her mom and show her dad, etc. It is good to let her get out the emotion and talk about it. hug

    Answer by elizabr at 8:14 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • just be there for her and keep doing what you are and let her know that you are there and if she needs to cry let her cry. children that young don't really understand about deployment and the likes so I don't know if explaining to her would help. Good luck and hang in there

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:15 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Talk to Dad about asking her Mom to make a video, maybe reading a book, or telling a story, that you can have to play to her when she's sad. I know resources are limited, but she might be able to find a camera and email a short video.

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:33 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Well it sounds like your doing everything right, do you have a date when her mom is coming back? You could get a calendar and mark every day off, and make something special each day for momma, poor little thing,,thank goodness she has you!

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:52 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I don't know of anything you can do except try to comfort her. At three, they don't quite have the concept of time and distance down. All she knows is that her mommy is gone and that she misses her and that makes her sad. You might try to get her interested in something that you know she enjoys doing--sort of as a diversion from her thinking. Our 3-year old grandson's daddy was recently away from Thursday until Sunday night, and he would talk to his daddy on the phone and then tell his mommy he wanted Daddy to give him a bath. They just don't yet have the ability to understand the real why of the separation. Bless you for being there to help take care of her!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:17 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Thanks. I think maybe I'll bust out the paint in a little bit since that's rarity. And we can paint pictures for her mommy and my kids' daddy today. The letter thing is a good idea. I just put made up the jello jigglers I was waiting for a special occasion to use. So hopefully after nap time we can have fun with sugary and jello-y goodness. :)

    Comment by marine_wife0520 (original poster) at 8:20 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Thanks,they have all that stuff already. I'm hoping tonight will help they have a video teleconference scheduled with her then right after is mine and my kids' turn with papa bear! I'm hoping seeing and talking to her mom will help. She has snapped out of the mood for now anyways. I don't know what happened but she got up and started running around like her crazy self, laughing and playing. Hopefully that's it for today, that was rough seeing her so sad and only for an hour and a half!

    Comment by marine_wife0520 (original poster) at 8:50 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Aww, poor little girl! The only thing I can think of is to try to make her Mommy being gone as positive as possible. She may not be able to comprehend exactly what Mommy is doing, but try to explain to her that Mommy is being very brave and helping people and that she misses her too. Trying to get her to talk about how she feels might help some too, since she might not understand what exactly she is feeling. And I agree that doing fun things might help take her mind off of it.

    Answer by IrishMomma727 at 10:44 AM on Apr. 19, 2011

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