So a little background on me...men have treated me like crap my entire life. Was married to an abusive man for a long time, only good thing that came out of that was my wondeful children. I found out years later he had cheated on me with 2 of my so called friends. After the divorce I had my fair share of crappy dating, deceiving men etc etc. All that made me very sceptical of course. Well I met a wonderful man, thank god. He's good to me, great family man and we're starting a great life off together.
Here inlies my issue. Trust of course. Deep in my heart I do not believe he's a cheater, he's just not the type. A few instances came up where we were sitting at the table asking one another who are contacts were in our cell phones. I had one old sports coach's name in mine that he asked me to delete, so I did. He had one female contact, that he was "sort of" friends with in his single days(little side note, she was a stripper, he use to go to strip clubs when he was single versus going to reg bars). He deleted the number, told me they were only friends , that he was not interested in her, just that in his times of going to those places, they had talked a few times etc. He also told me that since we had been together, she texted him once and he told her he was involved now with me and could not talk to her anymore. I was glad he told me but in the same instance with my insecurities, I wonder from time to time if she had ever contacted him again and he just didn't tell me not to get me mad.
So heres the bad thing on my part, I snoop. Yes I admit it, I snoop in his cell phone when he leaves it. I have not found anything bad, one time on his birthday a numbe texted him happy birthyday that was not in his contacts, he replied with who is this, the person said it doesnt matter, and then he just said ok, thank you and that was it. He never told me about it, but as I saw he also didn't continue on with the texts either. Oh so in all my insecure snooping I came across 2 contacts he has listed at the end with no names, numbers are not listed and where their names are, are either puncuation marks or periods.
So my question is, how can get over my past insecurities to stop this? What should I think of the 2 contacts, sort of hidden? I have found nothing else, nor seen anything else to think he is doing anything bad, but I just feel so pessimistic and hard to believe I actually found a good man. Help me please, if he is the "one" I don't want to keep feeling this way and I really do want to stop my insecure snooping, I know its wrong.
Asked by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships
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