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My friend's husband was shocked

when me, my DH my best friend and her husband went out to dinner and I said something to the effect that I do all the cooking, most of the cleaning, laundry etc. Both of our husbands work 40+ hours a week but they said they share the housework. I didn't say anything about it but I can't believe it. We are both stay at home moms, she has an almost 4 year old boy and I have a four year old girl, we are both pregnant. Why should her DH go to work while she is at home all day and then have to do laundry or cook? I thought what I do is normal for a stay at home mom. I get my husband's breakfast and coffee and clothes ready for work before he wakes up, and also have his lunch packed. When he gets home, the house is clean and dinner is made.

Answer Question

Asked by JLS2388 at 11:59 AM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • In my opinion you are the better wife. I am a student, mom of 3, but do not work and I handle all of the household duties as well.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:00 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • It all depends on what each couple works out preferably before marriage. Maybe he likes helping.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:00 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I think it is nice that he helps. I'm not a slave just because I stay home, if he wants to be a pig and make a mess he has better clean it up.. I don't spit tobacco into soda bottles i am not cleaning it up. yuck!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:01 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • He was complaining like "hey, that's not fair" I almost felt bad for my friend though

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 12:01 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • If i were a sahm I woould do it all. BUT even though I work really the only thing I "EXPECT" of him is to make sure his dirty clothes are in a basket....and to use a coaster. My sil EXPECTS her dh to cook nightly. They have even waited til 7 or 8 pm because he worked late (like 12 hours)....really in that time she couldn't have made say spaghetti????

    Answer by brypmom at 12:05 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • When I was a SAHM I did all the cleaning, cooking and laundry. But my ex started to take advantage of my kindness. He would never even do 1 dish after I cooked a 3 course meal. I think it's sweet he helps, it's nice to see a man that doesn't expect to get waited on 24/7. (I'm not saying yours does) but being a SAHM and especially while pregnant is still hard work.

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 12:07 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • There are 2 of you in a relationship.... why should one person do all of one thing?
    I am working right now, while hubby is on unemployment and going to school part time. I certainly do NOT expect him to do it all while I'm at work. WE both help in the household

    Answer by MrsDAP at 12:08 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Everyone's different... but yeah, when I was with my ex and I was a SAHM, I did look at the house work and stuff as mostly my responsibility. Yeah, I expected help here and there, but I knew that because I was home most of the time, it made sense for me to get things done.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 12:10 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • That's funny b/c I'm NOT a sahm, and I still do more housework, cleaning, and cooking than my SO. I go to school and work, but on the flipside- he works far more than I do, so I make the time to do those things. I don't think it makes her a bad wife that she doesn't do it all though (unless maybe he's previously expressed concern to her about it), I'm sure there are many women who wish their husbands did more at home.

    Answer by lexi8622 at 12:12 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • It sounds like you have a working partnership.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:25 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

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