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How do I get my husband to help a little around the house?

when asking for help around the house all I get is attitude and then I am doing everything my self and I get stressed out where i dont wanna talk to him :( help what do I do?

Answer Question

Asked by QueenBeePrecup at 12:09 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • dont wash his clothes or clean his dishes.. . i did that with my husband when we first got married.. it worked. 6 years later i dont have to beg him to help. just ask an he helps with no problems..

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 12:10 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • There are different approaches you could take-- like go on strike and not do anything, or just do things for the kids and you (like do your laundry-- leave his where he drops it) and leave him to fend for himself, or if he is messy bag up all his junk and dump it in his favorite chair -- forcing him to either move it or sort it. You could tell him that since you do it all around the house without help you are 'too tired' for sex.... and if he wants some he has to start helping out - that way you will have some time/energy for him later.
    You could remind him that you BOTH live in the house and BOTH are responsible for keeping it clean....
    I hope however you handle it things work out and he starts helping you!!

    Answer by MizLee at 12:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Men love to hear thank you and feel appreciated. The thing that they do not want is to be nagged. Start slow he will not change over night they are hard headed and it is a work in progress. So if he throws his laundry in the hamper or something really small give him lots of praise. It may seem silly and he may give you a silly look but he really appreciates it TRUST ME! The more praise he gets the more he will want to do! Over time you will find him doing so much more without even thinking about it! Trust me because I have a husband who literally would clean my house top to bottom just to make me happy! You can also approach it as a fun activity to do together say something like lets make a deal I will clean the shower if you will please clean the sink that would really help me out! I hope this helped! Have a fabulous day!

    Answer by BambooPinkCC at 12:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • walk aroun nekkid an tell him he aint getin non til the hous b clean

    Answer by Schnizzle at 12:15 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I'm not sure why women nowadays don't discuss this before they get married. If not discussed most men assume that women like doing house work and it's their job. Depending on how long you have been married, he may not even want to try since you haven't discussed it before now. However, there is a book by Gary Smalley called For Better or For Best that helps women manipulate husbands into doing stuff like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Bamboo, I have a feeling that would only work if her husband's love language is praise. Sounds like that is your husband's love language.

    Someone else made mention of this book, and I also highly recommend it. Its called "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Finding out his love language and "speaking" it may get him to feeling loved and willing to help out more. Also, finding yours and speaking with him to get him to "speak" yours may help YOU feel more loved and appreciated!

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 12:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • THank you ladies I feel like I am not alone in this and I hope that you guy follow me through my time here on gods beautiful earth!

    Comment by QueenBeePrecup (original poster) at 12:33 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Bribe him with sex! you'll like it, he'll love it.. and hell help. WIN WIN WIN

    Answer by tcook90 at 12:45 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I'd just tell him what I expect him to do, let him complain but insist he does it. If he didn't change I'd treat him just like I do the kids, if I have to pick his stuff up I throw it out.

    Answer by meooma at 1:10 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • This is what worked for me years ago.

    I had asked.. to no avail.. I yelled/screamed, to no avail.. We fought and argued over it to no avail.. What finally worked was this.. I convinced him to "try" helping out by explaining to him that if HE would help me out here and there I would: 1) have more free time to spend with him/do things with him..2) I wouldn't be as tired so I may be up for sex more often...3) if I'm not stressed and pissed that I'm not getting any help, then I'm going to be less bitchy about most things in general because I won't have a chip on my shoulder.I think I added a few more things to (it's been about many years since this talk happened).So, he helped me one evening, and low and behold. I had time to sit and snuggle on the couch and watch something, I wasn't cranky, I was actually in the mood..etc That's all it took He has helped around the house every since. A happy wife means a happy life....... lol

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

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