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2 Bumps

Thanksgiving Dinner (kind of long)

DH and I have been together for going on 18 years. The first 8 years we lived in the same general location as his sister and the last 10 years we have lived in the same general location as his parents. Since my brother and I moved out of the house, my parents no longer celebrate Thanksgiving.

So for those first 8 years, DH's sister would invite us and his parents over for dinner and we'd come and enjoy the day. Then the last 10 years, DH's parents would invite us and his sister's family to their house and we'd come and enjoy the day. Thinking back now I just figure they thought "have it where the most family lives...?" During all this time, since they were always the ones doing it and inviting everyone over, we never had Thanksgiving dinner at our house.

Well, at the dinner table last Thanksgiving MIL looked right at me and with pure seriousness stated "We're having dinner at your house next year." Taken a little aback, I just said, "Okay, sure." Of course, then I start to feel horrible that we've been "mooching" off them for all these years.

But now that time has passed, I'm starting to get irritated by it. I mean, they invited us each year...it's not like we just showed up without invitation. And MIL might as well have demanded that we host this year without any previous talk or hints or anything to let us know she wanted us to it all. I find that highly inappropriate to make such a demand...this isn't Sunday dinner, this is Thanksgiving dinner for cripe's sake!. Plus, I'm not much of a cook...mostly from the box, whereas they are more "from scratch" type people, so they wouldn't even like the Thanksgiving dinner that I would make, so I'm also feeling self-conscious about it. And the more I think about it, the more irritated I get...

Advice?

 
AllAboutKeeley

Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 1:30 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Holidays

Level 33 (59,731 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Maybe she was just feeling overwhelmed at that moment when she said it.  But she could've said it with a smile!  I'm not sure what to make of it.  It wasn't nice for her to be that way.  You're right, it's not like you just randomly showed up.  You've got some time, lol, like7 months to think about it.  If you really don't want to have it at your house and you're not into cooking anyway, don't.  Alternately,offer frozen turkey dinners.  Buy some day (or 2) old bread for good measure,  cheapy paper plates and plastic utensils (which hey, I don't have a problem with).  Bring out a few kiddy tables and line them up as buffet to the microwave.  LOL.  Most likely if your in-laws are the way they are, you wouldn't need to worry about Thanksgiving dinner at your house again.

    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I would just suck it up and make the best Thanksgiving dinner ever. She was probably hoping at some point you would offer. It was not right of her to just pop that in front of everyone, but if I were you I would embrace it and figure it out. Practice some side dishes and meals and a couple of turkeys. You have plenty of time to prepare and take her challenge.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:34 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Maybe have them-the ladies that is-come early to help you, if you can stand them of course?
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:34 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • If its not something you want to do call her today and tell her that. And let her know that if having you and your husband is too much you will gladly just go to a local restaurant for the meal. Although I really liked CookieMom's answer that's a sure way to never be considered as host of the dinner.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 1:51 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • sidesplittinglaughterLOL LOL!!! CookieMom108 :-)

    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 1:52 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • It wasn't the nicest way to put it. Fortunately grocery stores are more than happy to do all the work for you, so that all you need to do is re-heat everything.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:58 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I think you're over thinking it and possibly overreacting to the comment. You very well could say "No, but I would definately help purchase and prepare dinner at someone else's house". You have no obligation. You don't have any reason to feel guilty for never offering, since she always offered for the family to come to her house. She would've said something earlier if it bothered her, I'm sure. However, this year she might be wanting to 'pass the torch' and allow someone else to do it. Since your SIL and your MIL have all done it she might've thought it was your turn this year. If you don't want to do it then say so, but don't make a huge deal out of nothing. I think it's only fair for you to take it this year, since everyone else has hosted it for nearly 18 years before.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:35 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

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