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3 Bumps

HELP!!!! adult content

MY HUBBY HAS A PORN PROB HELP ME FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET REED OF THIS GROSS SH*T

A little more of the problem is that we have been talking about this for a while and that he has made promises that of course have been broken so I am a little at my end of the rope :/ I also wanted to add was that their is a line that I understand why he was doing it before meeting me and being in the military but we have had talks about since we have been living together and things were alright now caving in again. Hope this explains more!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Sit him down and tell him what the issue is. Tell him he either needs to calm down on the pron or get rid of all of it.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:36 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • *porn
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:37 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • When you say problem... he'd rather look at porn than have sex with you at any time? Or he just looks when you're not available? The former is the real big problem and requires counseling.

    You can put blockers or a Net Nanny on the computer, but that doesn't resolve the communication issue, and THAT is first. Tell him you have a problem with his pron.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:38 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • What do you consider a porn problem? LOL To me a porn problem is missing work, masterbating like 10 times a day, not wanting me bc he masterbates to porn too much,etc. When the porn affects your every day life - you have an issue. I recommend talking to him about it. Letting him know how you feel about it. Maybe couples therapy & individual therapy ? Good Luck, Hun.
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 1:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I don't think that porn is a problem unless it's interferring with him going to work, spending time with you and the kiddies....it's a guy thing and to me it's not that big of a deal....just let him know you don't like it...have an open, honest conversation with him about it. Good luck mama
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 1:46 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Could you share a little bit more detail as to why it is a problem. There are many women here who have experienced problems/issues with porn in their marriages. I'm sure there are some that would be able to give you some helpful advice/guidance if they knew a little more about the "problem" is..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:52 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • It doesn't matter what anyone else's idea or definition of "porn problem" is. Op asked for help with the problem. To her, it IS a problem, no matter how much or why he looks, she doesn't like it! Soooo, as an answer, first thing you need to do is calmly discuss it with him. Tell him how it makes you feel... inadequate? Disgusted? Angry?

    From there, you should be able to make progress. Do be sure he understands how seriously and strongly you mean what you say.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:19 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Actually it does.. She considers it a problem and would like some help/advice in regards to how to deal with the problem. If no one knows what the problem is, they can't offer helpful advice or guidance.. Porn problems vary: does he watch it after she has made it clear she doesn't like it, is he breaking an agreement they made in regards to no porn in their home/relationship, is it that he watches porn every single day and does not have sex with her, is he watching at work and it's possibly threatening his job, ...etc.. There are endless problems one could find or encounter in this issue. Without knowing what the problem is, help (that may or could actually help her) can not be offered..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:34 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • In addition to Pixie Trix's advice, I would suggest asking yourself why this is a problem for you, specifically what are the things that bother you about your SO watching porn, and try to put those in "I think" and "I feel" terms and stay logical and calm in your own mind, so you can start to think about the situation and subsequently discuss it with the mindset that you and your SO are a team here, a team working together towards a solution. Remaining calm and being open to a useful conversation will encourage your SO to be more open himself, which will likely result in the two of you ending up feeling closer.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:42 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

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