Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

HOw can i help my stepdaughter to see the light so to speak?

I have been with my fiance' for 2 years.I have a 5 year old and we have a 5 week old son together. These two are great the issue is my stepdaughter. I love her so much and yet she hates me all because of her mother. She was born with cleft lip and the mother was not making the needed appointments for surgery or braces so i started to do it. It caused this HUGE issue, ever since then she has refused to come visit and says she hates me. I feel so bad for her at our house she has her own room and with her mother she sleeps onn a blowup mattress on the floor. I know the mother talks about me because she publicly writes things about me on facebook.II try to ignore it, but i am hurt i have done so much for her. WHY does she hate me??

Answer Question
 
jankelley

Asked by jankelley at 1:39 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Because you are new and different and she is influenced by mom. COontinue to do what you ARE doing because it's 100% the right thing. Don't expect to be appreciated till she's an adult. **smile** Bitter but true even when the child is NOT a stepchild!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:42 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Your sd is probably being told bad things by her mom...like how you might not think she is pretty or whatever and that is why you are pushing for the braces. You and I know you aren't doing that, but to a young girl, she isn't going to think her mom would lie to you.

    Also, why do you think the ex would like you? Your good to her daughter, you have a nice house with a room in it for her...some people are crazy and think of this as a threat. You and her ex, might want to take her daughter away from her. Now you and I both know those are not your intentions, your just trying to be nice to a little girl.

    Good Luck to her.

    P.S. remove her from your fb page, you really don't need that added stress.
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 1:46 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Thank you. It just hurts, i have taken more interest in her than her mother ever has. She has refused to see our son and says me and my daughter are not part of THE FAMILY and that my daughter shoudl NOT call her ather dad. I know all of this is comming from her mother. My daughter was only 3 when me and him got together and so one day she just came up to him and said thta i was the mom and he was the dad, and he loved it. It was sweet, we never tried to exclude my stepdaughter she has done it to herself. She told him on the phone that he really messed up by getting with me, and she hated me and my daughter and the baby.. WE tried to have her stay here it is kid paradise we even made the HUGE florida room into a kid zone, but she would rather sleep on the floor and then be jealous of the life she could be living.
    jankelley

    Comment by jankelley (original poster) at 1:57 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I agree with 1st post. She is being influenced by her mom. Keep trying to be the same supportive, loving person you are. Eventually, she will see that you do care and she will come around. She's probably very confused right now. Of course she loves her mom, and probably wants to make her happy. Don't give in to stooping to bm's level. Good luck sweetie.
    AFairyTaleGirl

    Answer by AFairyTaleGirl at 1:58 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Definitely influence from her mother. Keep doing the things you know you should, and she WILL see the light eventually. That day may not come until she is 25 or 50, but it will come!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 2:03 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • i have no clue sorry
    mommyof3-2008

    Answer by mommyof3-2008 at 12:07 PM on May. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN