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How can I get my 12yr old to tell the truth about something she did

My sister 8yr old daughter was caught going online looking a porn sites, when my sister confronted her about it she said that my 12yr old daughter showed her. My sister called me and said that she thinks my daughter did it cause her daughter is young and my child can get her to do what she wants and that she don't think they should hang around each other.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Seems like they need supervision more than seperation.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 2:33 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • You are not going to get a confession, what you need to do is set up parental controls on the computer, period.

    Answer by older at 2:39 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • First, Get the Two girls together and confront the issue. A sit down if you will. If you treat them with respect and honesty, even though you may not get the truth, make it known that porn sites are dangerous and that you as a parent will be putting controls on the computer. If there is a history between these two girls, then do what you feel is necessary. The most important thing is to not make the truth scary. The punishment has to fit the crime and children need boundaries, but they need to be fair. You can't be their friend, but you don't need to be Hitler either. If you respect the child and really listen, you can have an honest relationship. It won't stop children from getting into trouble, but the way you handle the offense will set the ground rules when the really tough issues come up. Just takes a lot of tough love and patience. I have 3 grown children and at the age of 12 is when issues became tough.

    Answer by pookie60 at 7:01 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • for me (and i know some wont agree) but do you need a confession... just change the rules. that when ont he computer they need to be supervised. and everything. My opinion though.

    Answer by Cherries12 at 2:36 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Kids are curious. It's as simple as that. Don't wait for the confession. Just explain to her that you understand curiosity makes us do things but to not include an 8 yr old bc they are not ready for that type of information.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:48 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • wild..

    Answer by smiley745 at 7:59 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Why are 8 and 12 year olds allowed to use the computer without adult supervision??

    Answer by Fawn80 at 1:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I started getting curious around 8 years old. I think the best thing to do at this point is sit them both down and have the sex talk, before porn is their only education about sex. I think that is more important that who taught who to look for porn.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 1:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Hi, I confronted my daughter yesterday about it when I picked her up from daycare, she said that she never looked at those sites as expected she would, she did say that she goes on youtube looking at videos but she don't know how to get to those sites. I had her call my sister up and talk to her, but she was busy and told my daughter she will call her back later, never did, my daughter cried all the way home and even when we got there, I told her that I know it's embarrassing, but she kept saying mommy I didn't do it, but why did my niece say her name is what i ask her

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:48 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • As it turn out, yesterday my sister had my niece call me at work to say that she lied on my daughter. When I got to the daycare to pick my child up I told her what happened and she started to cry again saying that she would never do that, and part of me believed her like i told her, but you never no and something this serious, so yes i will have more talks with her about the internet and sex, since she is in middle school.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:54 PM on Apr. 21, 2011