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would you leave....

well my SO has not told me he loves me in 9 months and never makes love to me or hugs me ..we have sex 5 times a week but it's quick and done he is a great father and stays home all the time after work but I need love and I have told him over and over again but he will not listen ...please tell me how to deal with this ...thank you

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Dec. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Would I leave over that? No. But I'd definitely keep working on it. If he won't go to couples counseling with you, go by yourself. That's what I would do.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 2:30 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Yes, I hate to say it but I would leave. There doesn't seem to be a future for you with him.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:31 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Leave. He doesn't give a rat's ass about you or your feelings. He is using you to jack off and whatever else you do for him. Sorry to be so blunt, but don't you think you deserve someone who cares about you as a person? I think you do and I don't even know you. Some a-hole who has been privileged to be in your presence and been given the gift of love without responding in kind is just someone who needs more time alone. I'd leave a bottle of lube with a ribbon and a note: "So you won't miss me."
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:33 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I wouldn't leave, his needs are being met, but your's isn't. I think counseling would be wonderful for the both of you. He may be dealing with something himself that he can't get a handle on. Try to approach him differently and see how he responds. Do you love him? That may be the question he is asking himself...guys are funny, you never know what they are thinking unless you flat out ask.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Since he will not listen then yes I would probably leave. If you feel you have tried everything then do what you need to do to make a happy life for yourself. There is nothing worse in life then an unhappy mother with children. It is better to be all alone and happy then unhappy in a relationship. It will eat away at you if you stay and nothing ever changes. And you will resent him for it too.

    Cindrella72

    Answer by Cindrella72 at 2:38 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Keep working on it! Marriage is for better or for worse. Go to your church or a counselor and get marriage help. I would think outside help would really open his eyes more. Also there is a wonderful book that you two should read for your marriage's sake called Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs. GL to you two
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Do you think leaving would make things better??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • wow thank you ladies I just fell like we are so out of touch like my birthday he gave me a card with 100 in it but what I wanted so bad was for him to hug me and say happy birthday IDK know what to do my kids wake up to him playing with them everyday until he leaves for work I dont want to fail my kids ...this is so hard I dont want it to seam like I am putting myself before my kids but I am not happy yet on the other hand I can not imagine waking up without him if that makes any sense :(

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Read the "Five love languages" book with him. Hubby and I are reading it. :) Don't leave be patient and appreciate the good things. :) Blessings
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 3:09 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Then dont have sex with him...tell him you can have cheap meaningless sex with a stranger at a bar if that is what you wanted...who is he to negate your feelings and scratch his itch? I would nto leave right away but you bet your sweet ass I would get my point accross loud and clear.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

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