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2 Bumps

Torn between

I just had a baby, she is 4months old, her father lives in Texas and we been going back and forth seeing each other for over 4yrs now, my other daughter is 12yrs old and her father is deceased. My boyfriend wants me to move to Texas so we can be a family, but of course my daughter is not happy about it, she has family and friends here, no one in Texas and she keeps saying she is going to move in with my mother if I go and he keeps saying that its getting to be too much that we keep going back and forth and I want to get married.

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ttk2

Asked by ttk2 at 3:45 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,952 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • why doesnt your bf move in with you?
    gonzalez3

    Answer by gonzalez3 at 3:47 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Your the mom and you make the decision and IMO, she will make new friends she is young. She cannot decide where she will live, that's your decision.

    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 3:48 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I live in Maryland, he wants to stay in Texas
    ttk2

    Comment by ttk2 (original poster) at 3:48 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • You are the mom. She is the child. She goes where you go.

    You need to do what is best for your family. If that means moving, so be it. She doesn't dictate what is best for the family.

    She will make new friends and it's not her last year of school. I wouldn't move a child in their last year of school.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:48 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I would discuss the option with your mother and with your b.f....maybe your daughter might feel close to her family rather than being pulled away from them....I would want my daughter to be happy as well as myself...you could let her stay with your mother through the school year and have her come down to texas to see you on holidays, spring break, and summer vacation until she can get used to being down there away from her friends and family....then it might help her get used to the idea of being down or tell her she doesnt have a say in what you decide is best for your family....Explain to her that its important that you are doing the best you can to support her and her sister thats why you thinks that it is best you move to texas with your b.f. .....
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 3:52 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • How does your 12yr an the bf interact wit each other?
    If she doesn't want 2 leave an your mom is ok wit her stayin y not let her stay? My dad did it wit us..she can always call u,visit u on hollidays an durin the summer..she may take the summer there an like it an want 2 move with u guys..
    An have u an the bf discussed marriage cause if u move out there wit the hopes of marriage an he doesn't plan on it..then u wasted ur time by moving..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 4:10 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • She like him as long as he moves up here, she doesn't like that idea of moving there, I took her there last year for spring break and we did everything, but she wants to be here. That was our plan for me to move and we get married and have a child but the child came first. I'm afraid that we are going to over if I don't go and if I force my child she will be very mean to everybody
    ttk2

    Comment by ttk2 (original poster) at 4:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I would suggest moving at the end of her school year. I'd look into places like the YMCA, boys girls club and your local recreation centers for stuff to do in the summer months. It's quite a toll on you and your family financially if you just go back and forth and it doesn't really create a good family environment. She'll adapt eventually easier if she's having fun and making friends. good luck.
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 4:37 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • You are her mom and she goes where you go. She will get over it in time if you choose to move. Just out of curiosity, why is your bf not able to consider moving with you?
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 4:44 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Well he has 3 other kids by a previous marriage, and his son is the youngest, he feels he need to be there for him, also he thinks its cheaper to live there, he is from Maryland by the way but been in texas for about 15yrs now.
    ttk2

    Comment by ttk2 (original poster) at 4:51 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

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