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How do you get family members to help out in the house when they live with you

my aunt and her bf moved in with me and the only deal was i cook dinner and they clean dishes because i hate to do dishes and she hates to cook dinner now i always cook dinner and the dishes either sit there until i get tired of seeing them or i have my kids do them and i dont like confrontation so im afraid to say something one night she even came home and went off doesnt anybody no how to do dishes around here

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flipper4u21

Asked by flipper4u21 at 5:29 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,422 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • family meeting?? talk it out with them??? i dont know but they probably wont get it unless you talk to them.
    Cherries12

    Answer by Cherries12 at 5:32 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • yeah thats a good ideal it just scares me to confront people so normally i just say screw it and do the things on my own
    flipper4u21

    Comment by flipper4u21 (original poster) at 5:35 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I think talking is a great start...if that gets you no where write it down! It actually helps them keep it in mind. Maybe a dry erase board or just lists on the fridge? But if that doesnt work then they just dont respect that you need help.
    christinawillis

    Answer by christinawillis at 5:41 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I might try the family meeting. But i would defnitely do something in writing and post it so everyone can see it.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:15 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • i have thought of writing it down was just trying to come up with a di9plomatic way to do it
    flipper4u21

    Comment by flipper4u21 (original poster) at 6:18 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • some confrentations are worth it,if thats your house you need to tell them whats up and how you feel.it want go away till something is said. it will just keep getting worse,pretty soon everything they do will drive you nuts,and the living situation want be okay,trust me i know.lol
    amanda71205

    Answer by amanda71205 at 9:51 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • yes things already annoy me then they do such a nice thing i say to myself aww its ok if they dont do dishes geez i just dont know
    flipper4u21

    Comment by flipper4u21 (original poster) at 10:05 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • She may realize you hate confrontation and is taking advantage of you... I would, in a very loving way, explain to her what you felt the agreement meant and ask her what it meant to her. Let her know it bothers her.... or in a very loving way, stop cooking dinner. Have her cook.. Either way you need to talk it out because if you don't it'll bottle up inside you and then all the other little irritants will start showing face and could possibly lead to an unnecessary argument. Good luck in whatever you choose to do though.
    TexasMama2Boys

    Answer by TexasMama2Boys at 11:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • well thank you very much texasmama they just made me feel better already the way you put it
    flipper4u21

    Comment by flipper4u21 (original poster) at 11:37 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • No one can take advantage of you without your permission. I'd tell her to help out, or GET OUT! It's that simple, really. You're doing HER a favor by letting her stay with you and you had very simple rules. If she doesn't follow them, you're allowing a bad example to be set for your kids. "Well, she doesn't have to do it, why do I?" Loving way or not, I'll have Zero problem telling her where the kitchen sink is or the door!
    Droyal14u

    Answer by Droyal14u at 3:21 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

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