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2 Bumps

Is this a "Kids says the darnest things" moment or should this be addressed?

I'm black and my husband is white. I had a son before meeting my husband and the son is also black. My son is 5 years old now and attends pre-k. Some mornings, my husband drops him off at school. One morning, one of the kids in my son's class loudly asked out loud "Why is Gavin's dad white?" The teacher didn't answer, she just greeted my son for the morning and started the day. My husband now says that almost every morning when he drops him off, the kid keeps asking the question. Sometimes asks Gavin why is his dad white. One time even asking my husband himself why is he white. We never addressed race with my son, we just taught him people are people. What, if anything, we should do about this kid?


Asked by keisha613 at 5:46 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 26 (26,906 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • The little boy isn't doing anything wrong. I think it's normal between 3 and 5 yrs old to ask those kind of questions. If it is making your hubby uncomfortable, he or the teacher should just say that some people come in different shapes, colors and sizes and that is just how he is :)

    Answer by VintageWife at 5:54 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I say tell him everyone's different and that should be the end of it. Sometimes kids need an explaination for every little thing. I'm wondering if he asks his parents. If you ignore the kid it just makes ignorance win. Simple answer and that's it.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 5:50 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Answer the kid. He's not doing anything wrong, he is asking a question. He is curious. Just answer him.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 5:58 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Maybe talk to the teacher? I am really not sure why she, as she is in charge of the class, has not asked him to stop asking the question that seems to me to be rather rude. Of course he is still young and learning but this is an opportunity for him to learn what is all right to ask. Or maybe your husband could just say color does not matter, he is daddy. Race issues can be tough to explain to someone so young.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:51 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • If it were me I would just say b/c that's how God made him. But, my kids go to a Christian day care so I could get away with that there. ;)

    Answer by MommyH2 at 6:22 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Ouch. Since it's not your kid saying it I'm not sure what you can do about it.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 5:51 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • explain to him that you are a black woman and your genetics for skin color are string and so your children come out looking like you and that mommies and daddies come in so many colors and their children can be any number of them, its one of the great things about life..variety :)

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 6:09 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • YAY! MommyH2! I agree! It would be sooo much easier to address things that way in life if everybody were not so "political"! I just try to put a goofy spin on dealing with tough things with little kiddos because you don't know where answering certain questions in certain ways can go with people nowadays! You know? I think as long as it doesn't bother the child (Gavin)... and he's not the one asking you these tough questions... then... you could just leave it alone and maybe this other kiddos will eventually quit asking???? OR.. like I suggested... do something out of the ordinary to ENSURE a change of subject with this kiddos preoccupation of your hubby's skin color.....that will hammer it home that ... things are just the way they are... no ryhme or reason... they are just what they are... and the world is a different and colorful place and aren't we glad that everyone is not the same!!!! :)

    Answer by FingerPainter at 6:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • AND... I really don't think it will do much good to sit this 5yr old "curious questioner" down and explain all about melanin cells (sp?) and how the liver produces it and some people's DNA strands tell the liver to produce MORE than others and so therefore their skin color is different and blah blah blah... the kiddos at this age.. really often are just completely wanting a simple easy answer and then they will move on to something else.... like.. why does the class hamster 'bob' .... now have new babies in HIS cage???".... LOL!!! :)

    Answer by FingerPainter at 6:44 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • say different families are made up different ways. I'm sure your mom or dad could tell you all about how families are put together.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:22 PM on Apr. 20, 2011