Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

11 Bumps

11 year old son gets mad at the thought of my husband and I ..

My 11 year old figured out when my husband and I lock our door it is for one reason. Now if we even close the door he pitches a fit, throws crap around the house, stomps, etc. He even gets mad when my husband hugs or kisses me. My husband works out of the country for a month and is home a month and when he is home we get no time alone. If we try to do anything together my son pitches a fit and makes the whole family miserable. It is causing problems in my marriage and I think that makes my son even happier..

Answer Question
 
gforcetrish

Asked by gforcetrish at 7:20 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • I know you probably have done this/tried this, but I'll ask any way just in case.

    Have you and your husband explained to him that the 2 of you need private time together and why? Why not meaning: "mom and dad want to have sex", but explaining why couples need to spend time together, why it's important for the two of you show each other affection when your husband is home, ..etc...
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:23 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • when he is home for a month does he give alot of attention to your son? Maybe he feels left out.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:24 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I would take your kid to a child psychologist. This is not normal behavior maybe he needs to get something out.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 7:29 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Maybe he is jealous of the time you two are spending together. He misses Daddy too.. Maybe try to wait until he i asleep and make sure you both are showering him with hugs and kisses!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 7:33 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Is it his biological father? In my experience, kids care a LOT more when it's not. For some reason.

    Since he's home for a whole month, maybe saving it for after bed time or when the 11 year old is in school would be best?
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 7:34 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I hate sneaking off to have sex when the kids are awake. It stresses me out, listening for them. But you don't get as much time with your hubby so it's understandable. Could you arrange for him to be out? Maybe drop him off at a movie with friends or have family take him somewhere fun? And as PP said, make sure he gets time with your husband and that you all spend time together as a family.
    How long have you been married?
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 7:35 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • That seems like a sign of sexual abuse. Normally kids won't throw a fit like that for no reason. Have you and your husband fought a lot when he was a baby and toddler? Often when a child witnesses behavior like that and a parent goes away for a while and comes back it can mess with the child mentally. You should schedule to see a therapist or counselor for this because there's probably an underlying cause.
    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 7:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Jealousy is common with children of that age but why can't you have we time after he goes to bed or before he gets up? Why antagonize the child and alienate him from dh? You want him to respect you & dh but perhaps you should respect the boy's feelings in return. School is in session. You can do the do all day long while the boy is in school.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:50 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Here's an idea! Don't have sex when your kids are awake!
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:53 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Is he getting mad at you,him,or the both of you?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:19 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN