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I am very crabby

so my son's real Dad found him on facebook and i am not happy. This is the guy that spent 16 yrs in prison, told me to get an abortion, had his Mom call me when i was 3 months pregnant to tell me he was dead, and everything that comes out of his mouth us a lie. and nobody on his side of the family has ever wanted anything to do with him, but now he does and i know he is going to hurt him again. Its hard for me to sit back and shut up. People tell me i need to let him learn on his own, that is a really hard thing for me.

 
jenn4443

Asked by jenn4443 at 9:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 23 (18,409 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sixteen is old enough to hear the truth about Dad - tell your son and let him make his own decision. To a certain extent you do need to let Son learn on his own. This is going to be hard, but try hard mama, to listen to son and be real and objective with him when he asks you about Dad. He will make his own decisions and as hard as it may be for you to watch or see unravel, he will learn the truth about Dad. Because when Dad lets him down - again, Son is going to need you even more. The benefit to this is you will have shown Son what Dad really is about but respect Son enough to let him make his own decision (you raised him right); don't put him in the position of choosing - be the loving, always there, fiercely loving mama that he will need after Dad's true colors come out. Hugs to you/son - this is a tough one - hang in there, Mama and stay fierce! And by the way, WTF was G'ma thinking?!
    pocmom

    Answer by pocmom at 9:47 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I'm sorry :( wish I had some advise for you! Hugs!
    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 9:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • how old is your son? if hes 18 or older i would be straight with him and tell him everything then let him make the decsion. good luck.
    ncmomma3152

    Answer by ncmomma3152 at 9:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • 16
    jenn4443

    Comment by jenn4443 (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • If he's a teen, and in your care, you have every right to monitor and decide who he communicates with. If I was uncomfortable with it,
    I'd block the guy from contacting him. When he's 18, he can make his own decision, but while he's still under your care, it's up to you. You know more about the situation than we do, and you know if he should or shouldn't be corresponding with him.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:17 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I know it is going to be hard for you. But your son is old enough to make his own decision on his father. Just make sure he knows you will always be their for him.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:18 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Even though your son's father hasn't earned the right to be in your sons life, your son has the right to have his father in his life if he wants to. Talk to your son, don't bad mouth his father because your son could take this as an affront to himself. Tell your son to use caution and tell him you'll be there to support him no matter what the outcome. I know it sucks but "thems the brakes"
    .
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:50 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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