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Selective Mutism......

My neice is has selective mutism & she is 7yo. I recently moved back to my hometown & now live in my parents apartment complex of which my sister does as well. Of course I have always known my neice has this issue & she hasent ever spoken to me. Before we were making visits every 2-3 months so it didnt really bother me because I understood.

Well now that we are here full time & see them every single day I kind of found my feelings being hurt today. I mean my little twinge of hurt feelings isnt the important thing of this whole issue but I just was curious if anyone had a child with this disorder?

Today while outdoors playing in the backyard (we all share the same yard & toys) my neice did something to her brother & my sister asked her to apologize. My neice motioned that she wouldnt apologize because I was outside too. My sister still made her apologize in her brothers ear. It still kind of hurt my feelings thought =(

She whispers in front of me meaning she will whisper in my sisters ear or will also whisper in my mom (her grandmothers) ear in front of me. She eats in front of me too which isnt something she does in front of many people either. She also makes louder noises in front of me recently (before we moved too) meaning she is really loud now when she wasnt before. I thought we were making progress or that she was would warm up some more but after today I kind of feel like maybe not.

Just curious if anyone else has a child like this? Any tips/advice for us on how to deal with this all? My feelings toward it all is not what is important here either what is important here is trying to help her along.


Asked by Mel30248 at 9:17 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 26 (25,898 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • One of my daughter's best friends had selective mutism when she was younger. Before school started I met her mother at the open house and we set up a playdate. She knew my daughter had a special needs brother and she asked if my daughter would be her daughter's "special friend" to help her out at school. I asked my daughter, Kat, and she said okay so we got the girls together several times before school and her daughter, Emily got to where she would whisper in my daughter's ear. Whenever she needs something, she would whisper it to Kat and Kat would relay it to the teacher/other student. They were in class together until 3rd grade and remained good friends, but Emily gradually started talking to others. By 3rd grade, she was able to talk to other students without my daughter's help, but she is still on the shy side.

    Answer by missanc at 11:00 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Try not to let it get to you . . .it is not about you at all. It sounds like she also may be experiencing some social anxiety . . which is why she does not want to talk/eat in front of other people. Often, kids like this are okay with sibs and mom, though.

    Make sure she is in counsleing with a child expert. If she is not, have your sister demand an eval through the school to get her counseling or occupational therapy.

    What you are describing, though, really sounds like an anxiety issue . . . selective mutism can stem off of this.

    Make sure she is being exposed to normal activities, and try to float with it.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:42 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • You just have to go with the flow.

    Answer by Glo402813 at 9:24 PM on Apr. 19, 2011