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If you have kids 4+ years apart, what are their relationships like with each other?

Are they very close, despite the age difference, or at each other like cats and dogs? If there's a very large age difference, like 9+ years, how does your teen feel about your toddler? What's your personal pro/con list?

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Asked by sojourner. at 11:43 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 11 (541 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My boys are 19, 21 & 28, so there's 7 years between the oldest and the middle child, and 9 years between the oldest and the youngest child. My oldest and middle child have always been very close, the two youngest are very close, the oldest and the youngest have gone through some difficult periods...sometimes even still, although they are much closer now. I don't think the age difference is the problem, I think it's personality differences...or maybe that they are sometimes too much alike!! I think they would have had similar issues if they had been very close in age.

    I never planned on having such a big age difference, I was told I couldn't have anymore after my first, but 7 years later, I was lucky enough to have another son...and then another.

    There were challenges, it was harder to attend things for my oldest, I always had younger boys to take, but overall, I don't think the age difference mattered.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:52 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Mine are 8yrs apart in age. They didn't get along much when they were younger. DD was an attention hog as a toddler & clingy. DS was jealous & easily annoyed by DD wanting to emulate/copy him. Now that DD's 6 & DS is 14, both have matured enough to appreciate each other's personalities/needs & have learned to have more patience with one another. DD adores DS & looks up to him; she'll make an azz of herself to get a smile out of DS. DS is proud to be a big bro & likes knowing he has a #1 fan who unconditionally loves him no matter what.

    Answer by domesticrecluse at 11:53 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • mine r 7 years apart.. their both boys so they get along great until lil borther wants something big bro has

    Answer by kimsmith22 at 11:55 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Well, I have experience personally with both ends of the spectrum.....first one is my brother....he's 4 yrs. 5 months & 1 day older than me....We were never close...He picked on me relentlessly while I was in grade school....He also sexually abused me (not real bad, but still) from 6-8 yrs. old....and then we separated physically, as far as living situations....and he started getting in a lot of trouble (academically, socially, criminally), and we never really had much time in our young lives to bond, other than early on......The second one is my half-Sister, aka my "daughter," so to speak.....She's younger than me by 9 yrs. 9 days.....I was always "close" w/her, but she wasn't so much w/me (that's part of her personality)....I basically raised Mom really never wanted her. I was so excited to have a younger sibling to "pick" on instead, but it backfired, as she did it to me...So, it just really depends, I think...:)

    Answer by MomToYoungerSis at 12:12 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • my 2 daughters are 10 years apart 13 & 24. The younger one worships the older one and the older one loves the younger to death but the older one doesn't live w/us any longer (she lives in another state).

    Answer by starlight1968 at 12:13 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My sons share the same birthday and are 4yrs apart. They are now 24 & 20 and are best friends :) It's awesome to see them together.

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:23 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • my daughters are 10 years apart, and gracie hasnt been here but for a week. and i can tell u my 10 year old just adores her. always trying to help and be there. i think it comes easier to u and them when the other child is much older. they understand it more and as long as u try to to keep them involved it will all be ok. good luck!

    Answer by ddriskell at 12:23 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

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