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2 Bumps

Having problems with lover's family...

My lover's cousin keeps saying bad things about me and I just asked my lover if he can ask his cousin why she has a problem with me. He told me that he's not going to do it and I need to stop manipulating. Was I wrong for asking him to do this?  Should I just ask her myself or leave it alone?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Apr. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • The alternative is you confront her yourself. Does he want that instead??

    Answer by vbruno at 11:53 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • Idk if he wants that or not. I hope he doesn't, because I would rather for him to solve the conflict than for his cousin and I get into a worse conflict.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:57 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

  • I'd ask her directly.. I wouldn't want to put my huz in the kind of position where he is in the middle of his family member or myself.. That's not fair for him, he cares about both of you, he doesn't want to have problems with either of you, so he does the right thing and stays out of it... If you're so concerned with it, just ask her, confront her, or kill her with kindness... but dont put him in the middle of you two..

    Answer by TexasMama2Boys at 12:10 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • How does he consider that manipulative? All you want to know is why she has a problem with you. Something doesn't sound right. How did manipulation come into the picture? I would have to ask him how you're being manipulative, after all you do have a right to know. If it comes down to it, ask her yourself.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:14 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Yeah, I feel the same way. I don't think I'm being manipulative by wanting my husband to ask his cousin why she has a problem with me. Its not like I'm asking him to get a bad attitude with his cousin or anything. I just want him to ask his cousin for me so I can know if she is picking just to be picking or if its a misunderstanding. I feel like if I ask it will be more conflict. I don't feel like I'm putting my husband in the middle of it by just wanting him to ask that. Like I stated before, its not like I told him to go off on his cousin.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:38 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Eh, I'd just ask her. If it starts some big thing, oh well- just don't give her the satisfaction of having you participate in it.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:57 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

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