Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What to do when a kid doesn't get his way?


What are ways to help teach kids be resilient when they don't get their way? Is there an effective way to discipline a young child when they're throwing a tantrum over not getting their way?

Answer Question
 
ElizaTucker

Asked by ElizaTucker at 4:31 PM on Dec. 2, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • Don't give them attention, as in avert your eyes and completely ignore them as though their behaviour is not affecting you at all. In the end they give up, forget and carry on what they're doing. Another way is to sit down, get on their level, and talk to them about why they can't have it and just wait for them to sit it out. My friend, Amy, used to lie down on the floor and scream like they were doing, and they immediately stopped every single time, but that was rather unorthodox..
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 4:34 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • if they're throwing a tantrum, just ignore them. but also make sure there's nothing around them that can hurt them or hurt someone else if they decide to throw something.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 4:34 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • i guess i just don't don't like the idea of just ignoring them. sorry. i just think that throwing a tantrum is very naughty and i don't ignore bad behavior, i deal with it. its very embarrassingin public when a child behaves that way, to say the least. throwing a fit is completely not allowed in my house.


     i won't let my two or four year old throw a fit when they don't get their way. when i say no and they even start to cry about it i reprimand them immediately. its just not acceptable. that's just me though. i'm a strict mommy.

    KristaRene

    Answer by KristaRene at 4:41 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • i cant even imagine ignoring my child if they started throwing something because they were mad. ohh man, that would be a bad situation.
    KristaRene

    Answer by KristaRene at 4:43 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I have a 5 y/o that has mroe of a temper than the other two put together, and we've tried just about everything to reprimand her. Turns out the most effective things were A: using a reward system to encourage good behaviour before the bad behaviour started, such as a treat if she went the morning without being a grump. Then B: When she starts her fit, she gets put on a time-out spot (usually her bed) in a quiet place and I tell her I won't discuss it further until she can calm down and talk to me reasonably.
    mamapotter

    Answer by mamapotter at 4:53 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • When a child is upset, when his emotions are so strong he can't control them, he throws a fit. Ignoring a child who is throwing a tantrum IS punishing him and it is also just about the only thing that works. When a toddler or young child is in mid-fit, he can NOT hear you. You can reason, threaten, bribe all you want - it won't work. So what do you do? Smack him until he calms down? Or ignore him until he is calm enough to hear you?
    I choose to ignore. I haul my daughter to her time-out spot and she stays there until she is calm. She can kick and scream all she wants. But she must stay in her spot until she is calm. She HATES this. She doesn't get my attention and she doesnt' get her way. When she is in the early stages, when I can see a fit is coming, I can ask her if she wants to sit in her spot. She'll say no and calm down right then.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:39 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Is it annoying to see a child pitching a fit in public? Yes. But it is far worse to me to see a parent trying to bribe the child out of the fit. Telling a child that she can have a toy if she behaves in the store is just about as bad as telling her she can have the toy she is screaming for. I would far rather see the child put in time out right there in the store, even if they are screaming. It's not always possible to leave and many places don't have public bathrooms.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:40 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I ignore my DD and walk away...
    angi_mona

    Answer by angi_mona at 6:43 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • well, to each his own. but to say that ignoring your child when they throw a fit is the only way that works, is a bit much don't you think? i would never bribe my children or threaten them, that would be pointless and not work. and hitting them until they are calm is a ridiculous notion, seen that would only upset them more and be counterproductive. but i will say that trowing a fit is not acceptable. doing so should only warrant discipline. and ignoring bad behavior is not training a child to behave in an acceptable manor, it only anchorages selfish and disrespectful behavior.  you said that when your child is in the early stages you can ask her if she wants to go to her spot and she says no. that, to me, sounds more like a bribe. (if you behave and not annoy me, you wont have to go away so i am not annoyed)

    KristaRene

    Answer by KristaRene at 7:38 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • What do you mean what to do? Don't do anything. The kid needs to learn No means No.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 7:44 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.