Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Do You Spend Every Holiday With Your In Laws?

I was raised in Foster Care and I don't have any real family so I have been spending the last 14 years going to my aunt in laws house for every single holiday. I have a 5 year old and 1 year old and my aunt in laws house is not kid proof and they are the only kids there which causes the oldest to get bored and act up. For Christmas I decided to spend the holiday home with the kids so they can enjoy their new toys in the comfort of their own home. DH is ok with this and so is his mom but DH's aunt in law and others say I am keeping the kids away from them but yet nobody comes to our house which is 20 min away to see them. They never approach DH with this its always me. He says to ignore them because if he doesn't have a problem with us staying home for holidays then why should I care what they say. I'm tired of bringing the kids to their house when they show no real effort and I'm tired of not being able to enjoy the holidays with my kids. How do you handle being the "bad guy" if you would rather stay home? Easter is approaching and once again I plan to stay home? I don't like conflict but they are my kids and I feel that because I have been listening to them for so long that they think if they keep arguing with me about my decision then I will change my mind. I'm trying to stand my ground but its hard when they are the only family I know.

Answer Question

Asked by Alaina1982 at 10:30 AM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Holidays

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • We all get along pretty well, but every holiday with them - ABSOLUTELY NOT.

    Answer by meooma at 10:31 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Nope.

    Answer by heathermarie32 at 10:33 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Hell No!! I avoid them if at all possible!!! We live half way across the country from the hubby's family and I just dont go to big holidays with the Italian family from hell. Hubby isnt to happy with his loud noisy rude fighting family either. We celebrate alone, or with friends.

    Answer by vbruno at 10:33 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • No. We do Christmas eve with inlaw Christmas with mine. Thanksgiving he goes is way I go mine. Although I have forewarned all that this year...since my family is expanding with grandkids...I will be at MY home with MY children/grandchildren. My kids have already decided to stick with the way they have been doing it for years (Christmas eve her fam (thats just when her family has always celebrated) and christmas day with us).

    Answer by brypmom at 10:34 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My husband is an RN and usually works every holiday. This is the first year since my kids have been born that he is gonna be off for all the holidays. I was usually the one taking the kids to see his family on holidays while he was at work.

    Comment by Alaina1982 (original poster) at 10:38 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I do not spend every holiday with my in-laws !We get along okay but we only do like Christmas,Thanksgiving,Easter, and of course b-days.I usually do my own holiday thing with my family.

    Answer by Brandy928 at 10:38 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Nope

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:38 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I sympathize with you. My IL's are the same way. Nothing dangerous is put up and DH and I spend the whole time doing just that. Then there is the fact that the IL's get bored and just want our kids to sit still like that will ever happen. And heaven forbid we do a holiday at our house or even *gasp* with my family. They do the same thing yours do - keep pestering us, though they go to DH not me, and think eventually we'll fold. It does not happen nearly as much as it used to because even he gets tired of the manipulating. When we do go see them it's not for very long then we go.

    As for being the "bad guy", let it roll off. Your DH nailed it when he said if he doesn't have a problem with what you're wanting to do, why should you care? Go with that.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:39 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • oh hell no!

    Answer by Meline3 at 10:51 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • You deserve to do what is best for your children and your own family. Making new and lasting Memories. Do what makes you Happy. Your kids know & feel that and will be better off. I wish you all Life's very Best!! I never had any real Family at all growing up.. It was just DH & I.. Then our DD's..

    Answer by Angellinda at 10:02 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.