My husband and I have been together for over four years. He was married before me, and I was in engaged before him. I lived with my ex fiancee for a year before my ex fiancee called it quits on my birthday.
When my husband and I started dating I remember feeling a weird feeling of "maybe this is a bad idea..." He would tell me he still had feelings for his ex wife, but nothing I needed to worry about.
Finally the time came I asked him to stop talking to her. They had no kids, no ties of needing to be together... They weren't even married that long. It annoyed me that she'd text or call him while we were on a date and our date had to be put on hold... I would even have to stop talking!
Well, he never stopped talking to her, until recently(supposedly).
Even when I got pregnant. He would tell me he had no desire to talk to her, but then would turn around and tell her he missed her, how pretty she was, and he knew that his second marriage was headed for a divorce. She would write back telling him how sorry she was and all that junk.
He has made me feel like utter scum because of what I find out he told his ex wife. He told her personal things that I wouldn't have even dreamed of telling any of my ex's about us.
I know this may sound crazy, but he even has the same email address she knows with the password being "ilove_____" her name. I've asked himto change it for ME, and he tells me everyone knows him by that email and he couldn't do that. I was like yes, including your ex wife.
They both are causing problems in our relationship and have, and neither one wants to take responsibility of it. In fact, my husband told me that if I would allow him to communicate he would. How do you allow a person to communicate? I thought that took listening and advice... That's what I do. He also told me if it really comes down to it and I ever made him choose between his exwife and her family, and me...he'd choose them.
I feel trapped and confused. I want to leave, I feel like a divorce is inevitable, but we have 2 beautiful babies that I hate taking them away from their daddy because they absolutely adore him.
I'm finding myself not inlove with him. I'm not very attracted to him. Our sex life has taken a major toll. I don't really enjoy being around him, and our conversations are usually the same.... Everyday. IF we have a conversation. When I ask about him "fixing" our relationship he tells me he's trying and he needs ideas from me on what to do. I think WHAT?!! You screw up and want me to tell you what to do??
I look at the marriage my parents had and this couldn't be further from it. My Dad was even married before and had kids from that previous marriage... It didn't really bother my Mom... I've gotten advice from her and it doesn't seem to help.
I'm completely lost on this.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships
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