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How do I get him to ask me to marry him?

We have 2 children together.Been together for 4 years.
We've been living together for 3 years.
We have a nice house together.All of our finances are combined.
I'm a stay at home mom and he is the primary provider and we both like it that way.
We live as husband and wife the only difference is that its not on paper.
We both have been married and divorce in prior relationships.
We've both been cheated on and burned.
Maybe him worse than I.
I don't want to ask him to marry me..I want him him to ask ME to marry I don't know why but thats just the way I want it.
I've hinted.
I don't know what else to do.
We both know we want to spend the rest of our lives together and grow old together.
What to do what to do.
Why won't he just ask me and lets get this over with so I can start planning our wedding.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • If I were in your situation, here is what I would do: I would tell him that I have decided I am no longer going to live the way we are now living. I will be checking into making other living arrangements. I would tell him that when I agreed to this arrangement, it was my belief that it would lead to marriage. It has now been 3 years and that has not happened, so I must assume it is not going to happen. Since I want to be a married woman, as much as I love you, I must leave you so that I can become available to some man who may be looking for a wife. Do not propose to him. The ball will be completely in his court. If he has any ideas of marriage, I believe he will propose. If he has set you up to believe something that is not true, then he will probably let you leave, but at least you will know the truth. Do not do any of this unless you are prepared to follow through. You cannot just make empty threats.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:48 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • You can't make him ask you. Have you ever talked about getting married? Maybe you should revisit the subject with him and be clear that you want to.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 11:44 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Maybe if you mention prenupts and then he will do it. My husband wanted to be married and I was burned before so I was leary. We also lived together as husband and wife, but morally for me I didn't like the idea. However, one day he asked me if I was worry if it all fell apart and I told him honestly. YES! He suggested the prenupts and we got married a few months later. Sometimes once you erase the fear, you can move ahead.

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 11:44 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Maybe you could ask him?

    Answer by SleepyCupcake at 11:45 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Does he know this is what you want? It might be that he thinks you are good with the way things are. I think maybe it is a topic you should bring up.

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:45 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Whats so wrong about waiting ?? It sounds like he might need more time - if you are so happy, you don't really NEED to be married.. IU understand WANTING To be , but it would be best when he's ready also

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:47 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Don't think there's anything you can do to make him ask you. You've told him you want marriage, both of you are committed to this relationship, maybe he likes it just the way things are.

    Answer by meooma at 11:52 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • After all of that, he probably won't. He is comfy. why bother when you are right there and have always been? Did you discuss this at all with him?

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:55 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Have you ever asked him Why don't you want to get married? I think with all of this history you are due an answer, in a couple of more years you will become common law anyway and would be entitiled to the same as a wife would get if you divorce.. right now if something happens you couldn't collect on his SS benefits, and would probably be alot of headace to get your children their SS--I know not romantic right? But it may be a good place to start,, what would happen if one of us were to pass away unexpectedly,,,,,if your not comfortable just asking what the deal is, maybe your not ready to get married to HIM! Good luck momma!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:56 AM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • If you live in a state that recognizes common law marriage, like Texas, you already are married, and in some states with CLM you technically have to file divorce if it ends.. my question is this.. why does that piece of paper matter so much to you when you already have everything you want?

    Answer by girlglow6 at 12:02 PM on Apr. 20, 2011