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3 Bumps

It's been 3 months!!!!! adult content

DH and I haven't had sex in three months... Yes, I said months. I don't know what to do! He is my first (and only), and things used to be great--multiple times a day, every day... Then it withered to a few times a week, then every 2 weeks, then once a month.. Now nothing... I try, but really, there's not much I can do, because I don't know how to seduce or anything... Usually it was we were horny and we went at it like rabbits... Now, with stress from work and kids, we rarely have any time alone, and when we do, we're worn out and just want to relax...Someone, please give me ideas to spice things up to maybe get him interested again? I won't do anal (just not happening), and I refuse to allow him to cum in my mouth (though I will tease with my mouth). I've tried sneaking him home mid-day for a quickie when our kids are napping or at school, but there's only so many times I can do that before even that becomes "expected". HELP!!!!

P.S. Our problem is that he's addicted to porn. He watches it and relieves himself, I think because things are so "blah", but in my defense, I always offer to try something new and he always wants missionary. He refuses counseling, so please don't tell me he needs that-I know, I've asked, and I'm still trying to get him to go. It's ruining our marriage!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Maybe you can suprise him by getting an overnight babysitter...book a nice hotel room for the two of you , order dinner by room service..and just enjoy eachother.
    It happens..its normal in some relationships.life gets hectic and couples just get too exhausted.
    Good Luck.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:21 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • your marriage is like mine was.. if he isn't willing to change something needs to happen.

    try something sexy after the kids go to bed or a sneak attack after the lights go out.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:23 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Okay, so just suggestions: Can you and he watch the porn together? Then, he can start to associate you with his sexual life again.

    If you truly think he has an addiction, then, make an appointment and demand that he goes. It is invading your marital life, and you have the right for it to be addressed.

    That being said, alot of us have issues with less frequence after years of marriage and kids. During "dry" periods, make sure that you are cuddling and holding hands, if you can.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:25 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • It's not you; it's the porn. I would most likely issue an ultimatum: Either he gets help, or the children and I will live somewhere else. This is one of the biggest dangers of porn, and for me, it's just like any other form of adultery, and I do not think any wife should tolerate it. I would not divorce him, but I would leave, telling him that as soon as he agrees to get help, I am willing to assist in any way I can, but in the meantime, I refuse to share my husband's affections with any other woman, real or imagined!!! And, if you are asked by anyone why the separation, you tell the absolute truth: My husband is addicted to porn, and he refuses to perform his marital obligations to his wife. You out him, big time!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:29 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • get a babysitter.. have a night to just u 2. get something sexy to put on.. watch porn together and play monkey c monkey do (copy the porn)
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 12:32 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • When he is watching porn I would slip on something sexy and stand in front of the TV and maybe touch yourself or get on your knees and use your mouth as pleasure. When the kids are playing take him off to the bed room or bathroom and tease him a little just enough to make him want you then be done do that a few times in one day by evening when the kids are in bed he will want you. My personal favorite is while he is asleep wake him up by putting his cock in your mouth that should wake him up ready to pounce on you.

    diamondsky

    Answer by diamondsky at 12:48 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I second NannyB!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 1:26 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I LOVE PORN! TMI I KNOW! But definately watch it with him and/or go to a toy store and explore with him.
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 2:01 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Start watching porn with him?
    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 2:09 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • maybe you guys could do a vacation!
    ChanQ

    Answer by ChanQ at 4:21 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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