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I think i effed up....kinda long...load of TMI..but i need advice.. adult content

ok so DH just got back from afghanistan like 3 days ago..
as i exspected the first time we had sex it was great but also werid. . .we ended up doing it 2 times b4 going to bed that night.
in total we have done it like 4 times already. but i have yet to .... have the big O...

well last night afterwards we were laying around and i asked him if everything was ok between us. ..bed room wise..he was non the wiser that i had yet to...i ended up telling him last night and he got super upset and now things are werid between us kinda.
he thinks its his fault and i keep telling him ITS NOT! hes been gone for so long we are just not on our game anymore.

we also used to O-together-but like i said ive yet to.
i dunno if its ive been used to my vibrator while he was gone. and stimulating myself that way. *that was the only way i could get off is by using my vibrator on my clit but it never went inside*

i feel so bad telling him this and maybe i shouldnt of. and i just want to fix things..and have a damn orgasim...

any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I never had an orgasm during sex until mu THIRTIES! My DH knew this and though it bothered him for a while we did some online research together and found it was actually pretty normal. A LOT of women NEVER orgasm form sex alone. We incorporated a ton of foreplay and clitorus stimulation during penetration. with me on top I can grind my clit into him. Sometimes he uses his hand while I am on top. Doggy style he can also use his hand during penetration. You could also in cooperate the toys into your sex. Also Having sex then having him 'finish' you by hand is a good compromise. Mutual masturbation can be super sexy as well.

    (And you thought you had tmi) lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • No one has done anything wrong here. You two need time to sync up again. It will happen. You might want to lay off the vibe until your body remembers the other way to O.

    Answer by ochsamom at 12:49 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I want to answer your question, but I don't have the option of being anon (do you have to be a certain "rank" for that) and this is a little too personal for me to answer as me :( PM me if you are comfortable doing that.

    Answer by VintageWife at 12:41 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • VintageWife, you'll be able to answer anonymously at lever 16. As for the original question, I've never had an orgasm in the 10 years I've been sexually active.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • i stopped using my vibrator a week b4 he came home. its something we each do so that we are REALLY ready to go the moment he walks in the door. somehting we started during our first deploy...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • You have been desensitized by the vibrator so to speak. lay off of it and continue with hubby. You will get back into the groove.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:53 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Thanks Anon, I think I'm at level 14 now.

    Answer by VintageWife at 1:02 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • thanks! i think maybe ill see if we can try lots of forplay tonight and possibly doggie :D

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:12 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • If it makes you feel better I never O from just intercourse either. As for you, I think the bigger question is how to make sure your relationship weathers this, rather than how to get back to the big O. I think that (O) will come with time and (fun) practice! But he was upset when you told him - it sounds like he is worried that he isn't adequate, isn't pleasing you, isn't satisfying you. I would also recommend being aware of how you talk about it - are you commenting on something unfortunate that happened? Or is there any chance he is hearing it as more of a complaint? How do you think about it? IS it a complaint? Do YOU feel it's his fault? If not, make sure you don't convey any of that, even inadvertently. Make sure that there is a very clear tone set, a tone that says hey this is what's happening, what can we do about it? Also, maybe try not to make it too important - urgency will probably just increase stress. Good luck!

    Answer by FelipesMom at 1:13 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • ...and thank your husband for me, for dedicating himself to my country!

    Answer by FelipesMom at 1:13 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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