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I am very worried that my friend is becoming forgetful, should I call her daughter?

I have a friend that I have worked with for over 20 years, she is 67 and lately I have noticed she tells me the same story over and over, or forgets that she had called me eariler. Her grown kids both live far away, one is wheelchair bound. I tried to talk to her about it, and she got really defensive,,, I was super gentle with her, but I am really worried. We have traveled together and she is kind of like my second mom, so I didn't think she would take it that way. Anyway as part of our job we are supposed to turn in money, and this is about the 7th time she thought she did, and found it somewhere else, she has even accused the bookeeper of stealing it! I want to call her daughter, but don't want to stir up any drama, should I? I know that early intervention can help memory loss, and I am worried about her driving around (outside sales) and forgetting where she is going,,,,just last week she dropped her phone and the lady called me who found it ( I am her emergency contact) anyway she never even knew she had lost it until 2 days later, when I finally got ahold of her! Help please!

 
kimigogo

Asked by kimigogo at 1:04 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Health

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • my grandmother has alzhimers (sp?), she was like that. at first we thought it was just age, but it got bad fast! she went for a drive to the store and she went missing for a little over 24hrs....she was in denial about it and she would get violent if she was told any different tha what she believed.....and my grandma goes to church every sunday, doent cuss, and wouldnt hurt a fly! Does she have any other family that could help her out? she needs to be checked out by a doc and get on meds, there are a lot of options out there that can help.
    dreamangel06

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would call the daughter. I would start the conversation with "This may be nothing, but I am becoming a little concerned about your mom." Then just tell her about the incidents that you have witnessed. I think the daughter will appreciate your concern for her mother. I know that I would.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:08 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would call her daughter.... I know it might stir things up, but it's better to be safe than sorry. She seems to be a very independent woman, so she probably does not want to admit that she is starting to lose some memory; but denial never fixes anything. Memory loss is just something that comes with old age, whether we like it or not :(
    IrishMomma727

    Answer by IrishMomma727 at 1:11 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Her problem may not be dementia but stress instead. Her children may be the reason why she is acting the way she does. Stress can make a person very forgetful since they are always preoccupied with their issues. Instead of calling her children, I would ask her (if you are very close) if she is going through a stressful time right now. Talk to her and let her open up. Then refer her to a therapist. A professional will recommend proper treatment if necessary. I agree to approach this in another way by listening to her then refer her. GL.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:26 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • You are a good friend for caring & as hard as this may be- YES- you need to get her family involved ASAP! She sounds like she needs help & fast, before things get worse. The family is going to have to prepare itself & start making plans. Encourage her children to talk to mom's Dr. as well as a lawyer. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:08 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would call her daughter - as long as she is not the type to snap and instantly call her mom and say "blah blah told me whats been happening. Its time to go in a home or move in with me."
    brypmom

    Answer by brypmom at 1:09 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Truthfully her daughter is not a very good one,, she is really short with her mom and kind of snarky, I am just at a loss for what to do,, I am so worried about her, I wonder if I could approach my friend in a different way,, IDK,, but I know the daughter will be upset,, more for her own sake than her mothers.
    kimigogo

    Comment by kimigogo (original poster) at 1:13 PM on Apr. 20, 2011