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I babysit for my sister in law ( her kids from a previous relationship - she is pregnant with my brothers first ) ....

I am suppose to babysit 2-3 days a week . My brother has days off during the week instead of the weekend... he takes care of the boys on his days off, which means I am just suppose to watch them the days she works...

BUT it seems like I end up watching them EVERYDAY ...

it has gotten worse since she has gotten pregnant.... she is "too sick" to watch her own kids... so when he leaves for work she will call or text telling me she is soo sick and wants me to come get them. on the weekends she gives me a guilt trip and actually puts the boys ont he phone and have them tell me how much they miss me and wants to come to my house....

I mean I do love them very much and i love them being here.... but it is like I have 4 kids ( I have 2 of my own) and they are all under 4 years old.... so if you can imagine I cant do much of anything else....

i started watching themt o help them out and to get to know them more ( they just came into our family last year) ... and I thought " what is 2 days a week going to matter, that is a good schedule to babysit" .... well now it is just too much and interferring(sp) with my family's life... i cant even go to the store or an appt... without finding a babysitter for all 4 of them !!!

so i have already told them we have to have a talk ( they are coming tonight so we can cookout on the grill) .... I just want some ideas on how to make them understand that I love the kids, but she needs to stop because they are her kids nad believe it or not millions of woman can still take care of their older kids while dealing with morning sickness... I mean hell my oldest sat on my lap as my head was in the toilet 24/7 ... but of course I want to be nice and not insulting ....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • ** also... I believe she is making my brother believe that I do not have them that much.... I can tell by the way he talks he has no idea that she has me watch them everytime he goes to work

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Explain it like you just explained it to us... you have a life and kids too, if they don't understand then they are crazy.

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 2:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I also watch my neice 2 days a week...but my sister pays me. I get $10 a day. Your SIL is taking total advantage of you and your time. I would put an end to that. Other moms have to take care of their kids no matter how sick they are and she's no exception to the rule. She'll manage just fine :)

    Answer by Renee3K at 2:19 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would tell her, "I understand your morning sickness gets the best of you sometimes, but most moms have gone through the same thing. I need to be able to have time to myself with my family and we agreed on a couple days a week. I love your kids but I need to have time to take care of mine as well, like running to the doctor or going to get groceries."

    Something like that anyways. Suggest that if she would like the kids to be there more often, that you would charge a fee since it is taking away from things you need to do during the day. And make sure your brother is aware of the habit!

    Answer by Renee3K at 2:24 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would clue your brother in. Call him when the kids are with you.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 4:45 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • dang that would be a lot i would just tell her only on the days that she has to work good luck

    Answer by ChanQ at 5:00 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • lol do we have the same family?

    Answer by brypmom at 6:34 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • i hate when relatives take advantage of you like that. whether or not they know they're doing it.

    i admit, though, when my joints flare up, ds practically lives at my best friends house.

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 12:05 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Tell her you have your own kids that you have to cut back some days. Also always tell her or the brother when you have them, better yet print a calender up, 2 of them write on the calender the days you'll watch them and give them a copy, then there's proof.

    Answer by Pixie81 at 3:14 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Sweetie, you can not be watching them all the time if you don't want to. You have the ability to say no if you do not want to watch them each day. You can turn in a set scedule you are willing to work a week ahead of time and your soon to be SIL can let you know, based on your hours/days of availability, what days and times she will need you. Other days you are busy, have appointments you can't get of, or working somewhere else. Whatever excuse or true thing you want to say. Your off time is none of her business. Only you create or break this GRRR situation. She only can use or abuse your services if you allow it. It has nothing to do with your brother. This is about being personally assertive and responsible for your own time. Family or not, do people have the right to dictate your time? Or do you take charge of that? There are always plenty of babysitting jobs. You decide who is your customer.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:23 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

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