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If you were me...what would your feelings be....

Dh and I have been in an argument lately...tell me who you think is right or wrong...or how you would feel...etc.

My MIL lives about 2 blocks away. She lives with her new hubby of about 5 years (NOT my dh dad) also her brother who is 56....div0rced, no girlfriend, no intention of finding his own place. Also her sister 59 years old....who is clinically depressed, bipolar, has tried to commit suicide 3 times, and has RECENTLY had homicidal thoughts and dreams!!!

MIL and her sister were sexually abused growing up....not sure about brother....dont know if he was or had any involment in any way...no one talks a lot about the past (of course)

So....argument is about our 7 year old spending the night with MIL. I have a HUGE problem with this...b/c of safety. I am afraid of aunt who has mental illness and homicidal thoughts....I am afraid of uncle and aunt who experienced sexual abuse....I am also frusterated by the fact that the house is VERY small....maybe 1000 square feet...only 2 bedroom.....son would have to sleep on couch.....

DH is adamant that I am being unfair to HIS family. B/c the kids DO spend the night with my parents....who ....(just to be blunt) are normal and still married after 30 years.

What do you think....would you allow this....do you think DH has point or is crazy?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • No freaking way my kid would ever spend the night there.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 2:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I think you have a point. She lives two blocks away there is plenty of time she could see him during the day like normal. There is way too much wrong with that situation to allow an overnight, or in my opinion even an unsupervised day visit. I really don't see why in the world she'd need to have him at her house overnight anyway.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:37 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Husband is crazy if he thinks you should allow your child to spend the night in that house. NO WAY would I allow that.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:36 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I agree with wildflowers. She lives close, she can visit. With all the things that are going on and have gone on, I wouldn't send my child there for an overnight visit. She is close enough to visit during the day, no need for an overnight.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 2:58 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I agree with you based on what you've said, only because of the unstable aunt living there. My kids sometimes spend the weekend with their father's parents; his mom is schizophrenic and can not handle small children (though my kids are old enough now where she doesn't freak out around them and in the last couple years her doctor has finally found a combination of meds that seem to work and he has one brother still living at home that was sexually abused as a kid but I know he'd never hurt the kids. The only normal one in that family is my ex-FIL and I know he'd never let anything happen to the kids.

    If your DH's aunt wasn't living there than I'd say to let your kids spend a night; but for now its understandable and if your in laws want to spend time with their grandkids they can easily come visit.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 3:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • You have every right to be concerned. I dont allow my daughter to stay at my MILs because when WE WERE over there and she was playing outside with my daugther, my daughter almost walked out into the street and MIL just asked her to come back rather than physically going to get her. My husbands nephews have also had "problems" when staying there so its a no go for me.
    holls85

    Answer by holls85 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • No way on this green earth would my kid(s) be staying over for the night in that enviroment.... My parents take my kids but like you, they are normal but I wouldn't leave them with my MIL because of her living enviroment - it's not healthy. My kids, my choice!
    monshine2

    Answer by monshine2 at 4:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Your feelings are valid and I would rely on my gut.
    Shaken1976

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 5:00 PM on Apr. 20, 2011