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To any moms who have children far apart in age, what were your concerns when the younger child was born?

I know plenty of mothers who who 10 years + in the difference of their children. i was wondering if you feel secure or worry about the age gap.
example: will the kids get along? OR do i have the energy to keep up with the new baby


Asked by Alexias30 at 3:09 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • Anon's answer is interesting to me, because my DH and his sister are also 7 years apart and they are not very close. But I think her story and mine just go to show that maybe it's more of a personality thing than an age difference thing. Some kids are two years apart and the best of friends, some are 2 years apart and seem to be at war from the word go. As far as energy I think in some ways your 2nd is easier because you know the drill to some extent, you are a bit more relaxed about things, and hopefully the older child is eager to be involved and helpful at least to a degree.

    And in some respect I think we all worry no matter what. Are the kids too far apart in age? Too close? Am I old enough? Young enough? Can I love more than one child the same? It just comes with the territory.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:55 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • When my youngest child was born, the 2 older ones were 9 and 6. My biggest concern was the youngest one would end up growing up an almost only child. And, that's kinda the way it's been. But, on the other hand, he is very close with his older brother, who he's always looked up to. The kids are now 26, 24, and 17,and my two boys (the 26 and 17) are very close, do a lot of things together, and really enjoy each other's company. My daughter is involved with them also, when she has the time, she has a hubby and 6 kids between them.

    Answer by cbk_mom3 at 3:13 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Mine are 7 years apart. I never worried about the age gap; my only concern was that my babies were born healthy. They are very close and get along really well, and I actually prefered having them farther apart rather than closer together. Plus, I have a built-in babysitter!!! I can actually spend quality time with them both as a result of the age difference (their school schedules, activities schedules, etc. rarely coincide so I never have to be in 2 places at the same time).

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I never worried about it.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 3:19 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • LOL..mine will be 15+ years apart. More like 16. I'm not worried.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:28 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My girls are 16 years apart! And yes, I worried some about the age gap, but worried more about being able to keep up with the LO. We have a pretty serious case of sibling rivalry going on -- fortunatly though, the oldest moved out to go to college and that stopped a lot of it. The girls are not close, but thats mostly because the oldest teases her little sister. When I call her on it she's like, "MOM! I have spent my entire life being an only child -- now I get to tease someone." UGH! She also gets a little jealous because I can afford more now, the LO gets things that my oldest didn't have (like a Barbie jeep). As for the energy level, it is not what it was 20 years ago, but my patience level and selflessness levels are WAY UP over what they were, so it balances out! All in all, I am glad that I get to experience being a parent all over again!

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 3:35 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • In my family, my oldest is 16 and my youngest is 2. My 16 year old gets along great with the little ones and he's a great help. He has a special bond with the little ones and they adore him. I'm 33 and my youngest sister is 23, we weren't close when we were younger, but the older we got, the closer you become.

    Answer by KileighR at 3:00 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

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