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Becomming a good stepmom...

I have been with my bf for a year now, we both have our own kids, and I am pregnant (due in a week) with "our" first son. His kids have been asking alot of questions about us getting married, which is the plan, but I am getting butterflies about the whole "step-mom" thing... His daughter even asked if she could call me "mommy" I do love his kids, but have a hard time with them sometimes, and I have in the back of my mind that they AREN'T mine... sometimes I even get jealous of them getting his attention. I know thats childish, I am usually very mature and a good mom. but its hard sometimes, especially with 5 going on 6 kids in the house... I guess I just need some advice on how to deal with becoming a good step-mom.

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sarahlu

Asked by sarahlu at 3:26 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,504 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Day by Day.Lots of love,lots of patiece.Thier not just "his" and "yours"...they all are both of yours now.Keep them included, try not to let them feel left out.Don't be afraid to love them..and even children that are our "own" children can be a headache at times. Good Luck.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:28 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I'm a step mom myself and I don't have anything to offer, kimberly said it very well! GL to you and your new family :)
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I started out with the plan and intention to be the best step mom. I've been a step mom for over 11 years now and she just turned 15. We never bonded even though I really really wanted to. I've told my other daughter to NEVER NEVER NEVER ever even date a man with kids. I hate being her step mom and can't wait till she's gone. BTW, her dad has always had full custody of her, her mom is a dead beat lazy ass B, and we've provided a nice life for her and she could care the F*ck less. She thinks her mom is the right hand of god and we're the biggest asshole's on the planet. You're in a different situation where you're going to be having a baby soon. I tell anyone who is contemplating becoming a step parent to freakin run the other way no matter how you feel about that person. That's not good advice for you since your pregnant though. It's hard, really hard but it's doable.
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 3:34 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • It is very difficult to become a good step-mom, I am one myself. Yes you have to treat the children as your own, but unfortunately many times you have no say in what is going on with them in regards to school, health, etc. This can cause many problems amongst you and your spouse. I love my husband dearly and wouldn't change anything, but I struggle daily with being a step-mom. We have 50/50 custody so there is a lot of talking back and forth and way too much interaction with the other family. Good luck and feel free to message me if you need to talk. Sometimes that is all we can do.
    Happymom1216

    Answer by Happymom1216 at 4:37 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Love them and treat them as if they were your children....I have a step mom and that is what she did...and we are now best friends. :)
    Kyrielou

    Answer by Kyrielou at 5:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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