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4 Bumps

GGGRRROOOOOWWLLL *vent*

I wasnt even going to vent about this because I know everyone is going to tell me that it's not a big deal, that I'm making myself upset over nothing, yadda, yadda, yadda...but hell...I'm mad and maybe getting it out will help me calm down before DH gets home and I might get some good advice at the same time so here it goes....

Okay....so the other day Richie (DH) told me that his mother wanted to come to church with us..already in my head I'm thinking "groooaan...I DO NOT feel like dealing with this woman" for those of you who arent familiar with my MIL rants I'll give you just a little background...MIL is super critical, she is always and forever giving me "advice" about how I should be raising my daughter...and I mean DETAILED "advice", down to what I should be doing with her before I put her down for her nap! When I don't agree with a part of her parenting style ( I don't really agree with any of it but I humor her sometimes) she makes this noise in the back of her throat and has this stupid mildly surprised look on her face...the list goes on and on....she calls me ALL THE TIME so I guess she likes me or whatever ... maybe she's just critical by nature I don't know but yeah....

Anyways yesterday she called me at 11 in the morning but I was in the middle of something so I didnt answer and she didnt leave a message, then she called me again at 7 that night but I was gone and left my phone and by the time I got home it was too late to call her back, so awhile ago I finally listened to the message she left and she's talking about how Richard told her that I'm cooking Sunday dinner and she wanted to know if she could bring anything.... WHAT????? I'm making DINNER???? First all Rich said to me is that she was coming to church with us! I didnt even know she was supposed to be coming over after that...to me church and coming over to dinner is not the same thing...second...why didnt he tell me I'm pose to making dinner? Why am I finding this out through her??? Let me explain...I am a BEGINNER cook...I don't even like cooking for HIM...let alone someone who (according to Richie, although I don't like her food) is a wonderful cook...Like I said she is SUPER critical (chastising me about my 4yr old daughter's bed not being made) I don't want to do this and I feel incredibly put upon.....I understand that this is not a big deal for everyone but for me it pisses me off! Especially once I called him and he's like "Oh, well I assumed you knew...."  I tell him all the time DO NOT ASSUME THINGS WHEN IT COMES TO ME......Okay...I'm running out of steam so I guess I'm done lol

 
Lucky209

Asked by Lucky209 at 6:08 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Putting up w/your MIL is exHAUSTING-(I know, I have one of those lol). I think you have a right to be upset & I have been through that. And then I got fed up w/my husband never sticking up for me or letting me know what was going on so eventually I called her. I thought well maybe he is afraid to speak his mind so I will.  I told her she needs to talk to me when it comes to things like that. Basically if it involves ME then I need to know before everyone else does. I finally told my husband NO. I'm not going to Sunday dinner, or she's not coming over, or no she cannot have the kids tomorrow. (I figured what's the worst that can happen? Keep sex from him & he'll totally start to come around haha)

    Mrs_Doll

    Answer by Mrs_Doll at 7:10 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • This is what i would have said;

    "Oh no, he is wrong. He must have the dates confused, i am NOT cooking dinner Sunday night...sorry...but i will see you at church, maybe we can get lunch after"
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:11 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Tell her you'd like to make a ham (roast, steak whatever) but you really have never made one so maybe she could just "help out" after church to make sure its right....then stand back and "take notes" - ie let her do it :)

    My mil critized the way I was heating a vegetable one day! Really??? I can boil water!
    brypmom

    Answer by brypmom at 6:16 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Maybe he is trying to impress his mother by having a wife who he likes to think enjoys cooking. ...

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I'd be getting one of those pre-made dinner they offer at grocery stores
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:16 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I get annoyed too when things are decided for me and I'm simply told after the fact. Hopefully your hubby will learn a lesson about this type of thing.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 6:11 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • How you feel is how you feel. I don't think people should have to apologize for feelings. It's not like you yelled at her or your husband because he didn't tell you. I would probably just do what you did and tell him not to assume I know anything about plans involving others coming over. I like to know as much as possible in advance when it involves having guests. This kind of thing happens with us too. If it's not DH forgetting to tell me something about his family coming over, it's them just showing up and the vast majority of the time we're busy and have to stop everything. I can see where you'd be irritated. I would be too at least for a little bit.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 6:14 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I know the feeling! When my SO and I were early in our relationship and just moved into a new house, his family took it upon themselves to spread the word to everyone that we were hosting Thanksgiving that year. Without asking either of us. His response was "Eh why not?" Yeah buddy, because YOU'RE not going to be cooking! His family has a habit of doing this and it upsets me. I would have been upset in your situation also.
    nmmama09

    Answer by nmmama09 at 6:20 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • They are having a sale at KFC on SUnday... a whole meal lol give serve that and laugh lol I would
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:21 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • sorry I'm a smartass sometimes :)
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:22 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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