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Need advice for a rough draft of a letter......

this may sound strange but I need help with writing a letter. First I'll explain the situation...it may sound petty but I feel like I need to do it. My friends daughter got married, I didn't really want to go to the wedding but felt I should for my friend. The bride was so rude. I went to say Congrats to her and when I walked up and said her name she turned to me and says "WHAT?" in a snotty voice. I said what you're supposed to "congrats, nice wedding you look beautiful, blah blah blah" and the whole time she is basically acting as though I am bothering her. Then afterwards I thought, I wonder if she will even send a thank you for the gift. And of course she didn't (it's been 8 months now) and I am going to write her a letter and basically tell her about basic courtesy and etiquette. I don't want to just rip her a new one, I really want to get my point across but not look like an ass, I want her to look like the ass. So any suggestions? Just one more thing, her mother knows that I am writing it and wants me too, this girl has been so rude and horrible the mom wants the girl to hear from someone else.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • MAYBE you should just send her a book on manners and write a little note in the front that says, "Saw this book in Books A Million and immediately thought of you! Best Regards. . ." :) That'll shut her up!!!
    LoraGardiner

    Answer by LoraGardiner at 11:13 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I know you're not asking but I would not send that letter!! Maybe write and dispose of it to get it off your chest but do not send it. You are going to return her rudeness with your rudeness?? I would chalk it up to experience and move on- nothing good can come from it.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • No letter will help her change. Personally, I would ask if she got my present but I would not start any drama over a rude girl I can not do anything about.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:43 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My suggestion would be to be really nice in the letter. I t hink that's your idea right? I don't blame you one bit. I hope it makes you feel better I feel bad for her mom too!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 7:59 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I agree with most of the pp's, that I wouldn't even bother writing the letter. It's not really your place to try to give her a life lesson. Her mother should speak with her about her attitude and if she isn't willing to listen to her family, she's probably not willing to listen to you either, and it's an exercise in futility.
    However, if you're hell-bent on sending one, then I would just keep it short and simple and to the point. No need to mince words. Just tell her that she was rude to you, and that you didn't appreciate it, and that it wouldn't have killed her to send a thank-you note, which IS common courtesy.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 8:14 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I don't think someone who acts like that would be open minded enough to absorb any criticism on her behavior. If you must, then just be honest and tell her that her behavior really got to you. Tell her that you mistakenly expected to feel welcome by being invited to the occasion and that she should not feel obligated to invite you to any future events. Then end it with telling her she's welcome for the gift.

    Sorry you were treated this way, but acting like that will catch up to her even without your help. Her mother shouldn't rely on others to teach her child, she should have taught her daughter manners herself long before she was old enough to marry.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 8:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Wow! I can't believe she would be like that on her wedding day. Maybe you should sit down with your friend and write the letter. Even though she wants you to write it, you could still say something that might offend her.
    lovinlifewith5

    Answer by lovinlifewith5 at 7:38 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My friend knows exactly how I feel and she understands it. Her DD was horribly rude to her mother too. She made a speech and thanked her dad and stepmom and said how without them she wouldn't have had the wedding. she NEVER even acknowledged her mother or what she did for her or the wedding and then she was rude to all of her moms friends. She is just a nightmare of a child (grown adult) but this was the last straw for me and I want to be able to write this and put her in her place but still not go overboard to having it be attacking I just want to express how things should be and should have been. Maybe it's dumb but that's the way I feel.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:45 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Like I said - I don't want it to be rudeness, I want to express my feelings and let her know what is proper and what people expect and yes I hope that she reads it and feels embarrassed about her behavior but at the same time I want to say it an a way that she gets it but I don't rip her to shreads. There are ways to let someone know this tactfully. Will they probably still be embarrassed? probably and I hope so. And the good that comes from it is that I will feel better.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:51 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My husband would be MUCH better at helping you write this letter than I ever could. He does stuff like this almost on a daily basis (Sgt USAF).

    Unfortunately, right now he's at work (works from 2pm to midnight or later :/), and I will probably forget about this post by morning :( I know you are anon, and I would keep you anon if you'd be willing to send me a PM so I can have my husband help with writing the letter ;)
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 7:58 PM on Apr. 20, 2011