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2 Bumps

Please try to drop the snooty act for a minute and answer honestly. Think hard about it first.

We lived in a suburb of Los Angeles that was quite pricey. I was laid off from my job so my husband gave me a choice. He said "either find a job OR we will move to (a cheaper city)". I chose to move since it sounded like a more peaceful lifestyle about an hour north of where we currently were. So our house payment went from $1,450/month to $1,000/month. Everything was great until my unemployment ran out. Then he realizes that I still need to work. But this is AFTER I enroll in school that we had both discussed I would do.

So my dilemma now is that I'm a bit (a lot) annoyed because I not only moved to a small city where there are NO jobs (he commutes an hour each way daily) but now we're not near my parents (who could help babysit). I'm basically screwed.

Am I right in being annoyed? I mean, honestly, he said move OR work... I picked moved and now I still have to work!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (24)
  • I go to school and I still have to work but maybe you do have a right to be annoyed

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:27 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I think you both have a right to be annoyed at yourselves. (did that make sense?)

    You should both be upset that you both didnt think it through. You both KNEW that at some point the unemployment would run out. You both are capable of figuring out a budget. So you both screwed up the planning.

    But the bottom line is that being annoyed, mad, fussy, etc is counter productive.  And you both need to sit back down with a paper and pencil and figure out a budget that will work.  If you are a sahm, work nights so there is no sitter, work full time and give up school, move back, etc... what ever you two come up with double check those numbers, be creative, but most importantly go into it TOGETHER... NOT pointing the finger at the other one, being upset with the other one, etc.

    You are a team... for better!!


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • He does the budget so I do blame him... Counter productive or not, I have a right to my feelings.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:29 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I think that neither of you thought this through. It is not his fault any more than it is yours. You are a team. Do what is necessary to get your family on track.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:29 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would probably be annoyed too but it looks like at this point you don't really have a choice but to work anyways....I wouldnt be annoyed at my husband though, I would just be annoyed at the situation...he probably thought just like you that he would be able to support you both on his income alone...sorry it didnt work out that way mama and good luck to you

    Answer by Lucky209 at 8:29 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would be annoyed at the situation, but now at your SO. I mean, you should both have assessed the situation so you would know what you would have to do. The economy just really sucks no matter where you live now days.

    Answer by Kword at 8:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • :( I would be annoyed . . . but more at the financial situation than hubby. It really sucks that things are so expensive, and sometimes, working, you only make enough to pay for daycare, gas, work clothes, dry cleaning, etc.

    I wish that our salaries actually inflated with the rest of the economy during the last 30 years!

    I am sorry that is happening.

    What if you do things like cut cable, lower phone plans, eat cheaper food, etc? Would that make things more liveable?

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • not*

    Answer by Kword at 8:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I feel for both of you. You're right - you were given a choice - downsize your lifestyle or work to help support it. You chose to downsize. Unfortunately, it sounds like when you guys looked at the choice / did the downsizing, that you didn't quite downsize enough, so you still need the money :-(

    I don't think it's a matter of either of you being right or wrong, more a case of the situation just sucks, know what I mean?

    I completely understand wanting to be a sahm / go to school, and having a more peaceful lifestyle. I also can see that maybe, because he is commuting an hour each way, that he's feeling a little resentment as well - like he's the one making the ongoing sacrifice, kwim?

    Is there a way that you all could compromise, like instead of working full time you work part time?

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Niether of you thought this threw..and if you leave him to ONLY do the budget then your just an idiot im sorry. you are in a marriage..and you should do things ESPECIALLY money as couple. the budget should consist of both your inputs.

    plently of people go to school and work. so now you'll just have to do it. stop whinnning. you have to do what best for your family!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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