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Who is going to watch our baby ?

I am pregnant with our first baby ( girl ) , I plan on going back to work when my maturnity leave is up .

My fiance said he wants his sister to babysit the baby, because he wants our daughter to grow up close to the family and he trusts her, however seeing as she has 2 young kids and a small house I would prefer one of my friends do it.

Now his sister is upset because she said she had planned on watching her , but I dont think that is my fault because I didnt tell her she could. My main friend that might watch my baby has a bigger house and her child is 9 and hardly there , so I can expect her to pay more attention to my baby.

Now my fiance keeps saying "mean" things about my friend and being very immature because he isnt getting his way ...

This just makes me so mad that I can barely think straight !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • messy house, hurt back, lost custody of her own child... I would go with the sister too. I agree with your SO on this one.. The sister sounds like a better fit.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Yes, I believe in family over friends too. I would agree to your husband's sister babysitting.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 9:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • ok.....i have 3 children and i had no problem providing them with proper supervision and care. if your friend's back is too hurt to clean up her own house, get a job or care for her own child, i'm not sure why you think they are such a great candidate in your opinion. i think the reasons you cited to exclude your sil from the job are flimsy at best, and i agree with your fiance. i would not want my baby to be in a messy house taken care of by someone who can't even take care of her own kid. i do think that your fiance needs to grow up and deal with it in a more mature matter, not resorting to immature things like name calling, etc. but i think he is right. i wonder if the real reason you don't want your sil to watch the baby is because you secretely have something against her?

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:20 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • So wait let me understand what I'm reading here:

    When you go to the hospital you have two choices for child care

    Choice A - Family; w/ young children (ie used to the schedule) and a small but clean and in your opinion safe; loving place.
    Choice B - Friend; w/out custody of own child in spacious but dirty home who hasn't dealt w/ a newborn in 9 yrs.

    And the reason this is a hard choice is what again??? Sorry I side w/ your SO.

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 9:24 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I hardly think a baby will be in any danger in a small house with 2 other children. If you don't like the woman or if you don't trust her then say so. Don't use stupid excuses.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:28 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I don't agree with your husband basically acting like a child and putting your friend down.  I would "scratch" all of that though and focus on the task at hand.  She hurt her back?  So isn't it going to be hard for her to care for a newborn?  A 9 year old doesn't need to be picked up and held all the time.  Also, I am not judging her messy house by any means I'm just asking if she has it clean ENOUGH that your child won't in just a few months time, be choking on items she hasn't picked up.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 9:33 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • her back doesnt hurt anymore ... well sometimes it does but she can still move around and stuff... I just think she would have more time to focus on my child...

    there is just something about my fiances sister that I dont like... I mean I try to but I dont know, I almost feel like she thinks she will take better care of my baby than me, she keeps trying to give me advice ... and if i decide later ont hat I dont want her to watch my baby anymore, then it will turn into a huge thing... and I also dont want my Fiance to think it is all about his family, my friends ARE my family, and he cant just cut them out like that...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:39 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I vote for your SIL. She is family, she has small children (the interaction will be great for your baby's development,) your fiance has a right to voice his opinion on the situation because he is the father of the child, your friend has no child living with her full time and her house is messy (she is lazy,) I think you are being biased and self fish because you want your kid to not be at your SILs.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:44 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • everyone gives pregnant women advice.........get used to it. even people who don't have children will try to give you advice. that is not uncommon (and another flimsy excuse imo)

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:45 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • So, your friend is using the system. Everyone gives unwanted advice, I have 5 kids and I still give unwanted advice. Your fiance has a say in where his child gets babysat at, the baby doesn't only belong to you.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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