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Who is going to watch our baby ?

I am pregnant with our first baby ( girl ) , I plan on going back to work when my maturnity leave is up .

My fiance said he wants his sister to babysit the baby, because he wants our daughter to grow up close to the family and he trusts her, however seeing as she has 2 young kids and a small house I would prefer one of my friends do it.

Now his sister is upset because she said she had planned on watching her , but I dont think that is my fault because I didnt tell her she could. My main friend that might watch my baby has a bigger house and her child is 9 and hardly there , so I can expect her to pay more attention to my baby.

Now my fiance keeps saying "mean" things about my friend and being very immature because he isnt getting his way ...

This just makes me so mad that I can barely think straight !

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • My husband and I were always on the same page with child care. I did tge research, I made some picks, and in the end we decided together from my top picks. If my husband were to be unfair, mean, and truly not mature...it would only confirm my conclusion his judgement is not really to be taken seriously on a matter like this. In addition, since this is someone you are not married to, you may want to reconsider this marriage. If a man is challenging you now, treating your input and opinions as being stupid...what about other issues to come? When he sides with his sister of his partner and mother of his child - in a way that is very childish and concerning...perhaps think this out a little better. Your about to raise a real child. Do you want two babies? One an infant and the other a great big baby who throws mean tantrums when you make decisions that conflict with his fam?
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:36 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I agree, I would rather have my infant have someone who can give her individual care, not splitting the time between 3 small children
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:19 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • print a calender and fill in the days each could watch the baby..take turns.
    Pixie81

    Answer by Pixie81 at 3:29 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I would have one as the primary and the other as the day off/holidays etc.
    starlight1968

    Answer by starlight1968 at 11:55 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I don't understand you thinking your child is going to get this complete focus and attention from this woman. She has not had a baby at home in 9 years. She doesn't even live with her own child FT. Do you honestly picture her sitting with your baby and playing with her non stop, giving her loads and loads of attention? She just may miss the freedom she currently has, once she takes your baby, the freedom of - NO KIDS AROUND.


    There are things about my SIL that bug me too. Hell she can be a total bitch sometimes. lol HOWEVER, I DO trust her with my kids. She is their aunt and LOVES them entirely.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • To be brutally honest; you and your fiance need some pre-marital counseling stat if this is any example of the attitudes the two of you are bringing to the table. It sounds as though you are perhaps young; and maybe his sister is coming off a tad pushy because she's worried about your family.

    You really don't understand how becoming a mother can change friendships; friendships you would have sworn 10 mos ago were forever will slowly drift away. It totally normal. If you are seriously marring this man and not just using the term fiance; then you need to deal with your issues with your SIL. Even if she's slightly annoying; nothing you've shared here explains the level of hostility that comes thru your posts when you talk of her.
    beachmamaof2

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 10:22 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Okay, I see now.  So she is one of THOSE people who constantly run their mouths when their input isn't wanted and she makes you "prickly".  I can see where I wouldn't want her watching my child because of that.  But lets be honest, do you feel like that because there is a part of you that feels guilty and thinks she could possibly do a better job?  Deal with your insecurities babe.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:13 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • So, your friend is using the system. Everyone gives unwanted advice, I have 5 kids and I still give unwanted advice. Your fiance has a say in where his child gets babysat at, the baby doesn't only belong to you.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • everyone gives pregnant women advice.........get used to it. even people who don't have children will try to give you advice. that is not uncommon (and another flimsy excuse imo)
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:45 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I vote for your SIL. She is family, she has small children (the interaction will be great for your baby's development,) your fiance has a right to voice his opinion on the situation because he is the father of the child, your friend has no child living with her full time and her house is messy (she is lazy,) I think you are being biased and self fish because you want your kid to not be at your SILs.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:44 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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