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Who is going to watch our baby ?

I am pregnant with our first baby ( girl ) , I plan on going back to work when my maturnity leave is up .

My fiance said he wants his sister to babysit the baby, because he wants our daughter to grow up close to the family and he trusts her, however seeing as she has 2 young kids and a small house I would prefer one of my friends do it.

Now his sister is upset because she said she had planned on watching her , but I dont think that is my fault because I didnt tell her she could. My main friend that might watch my baby has a bigger house and her child is 9 and hardly there , so I can expect her to pay more attention to my baby.

Now my fiance keeps saying "mean" things about my friend and being very immature because he isnt getting his way ...

This just makes me so mad that I can barely think straight !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • Why don't you split your child's time between the two, compromise? :)

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 8:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Given the information that the mother has such little contact with her own child, and not 50/50 custody would make me think the sister is the better choice. There's a reason she doesn't have her daughter more and that alone would make me very nervous about having her babysit my child at any age.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 9:05 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Just because your future sister in law has two small children and a small home does not mean that she would not give excellent care to your child, her neice. If she has young children, she still has a good handle on those baby things. Plus, you made a point that would make me opt for you sister, verses your friend. She has small children. You daughter will get to watch the, be entertained by them, and that is good for her development. Growing closer to her cousins is also an added plus.

    Your fiance may be feeling like you disregard what he feels is best. Its not a great way to start a parenting relationship. I absolutely hate advice by so many woman that basically says "do what you feel is best, dad is a man and doesn't know any better". I would advise you to sit, and really talk it over with him. Listen to his point of view, express yours, and find a compromise.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 9:12 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • messy house, hurt back, lost custody of her own child... I would go with the sister too. I agree with your SO on this one.. The sister sounds like a better fit.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I would ignore what he is saying. Let him throw his temper tantrum. You need to think about what is best for your child and it sounds like your friend is better equipped to take care of the baby. Take the time to explain how you feel to your soon to be SIL and tell her you don't want to hurt her but you are more comfortable leaving your child with your friend.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:47 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Well, what kind of things is your fiance saying about her? are they just stupid things or are they reasons he doesnt want her to watch the baby ? ( like is he calling her lazy ?) and also .. why isnt her 9 year old there that much ?

    Answer by glamomomo at 8:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I'd want family over a friend any day. Your DD could be around her cousins, and bond with them even more as she starts growing. The size of the house would be irrelevant to me.

    You saying your friend has a messy house (and only a 9 yo) screams lazy to me as well. ::shrugs:: You have no guarantee she would give your baby 100% focus, or if she would leave the baby in a playpen and do her own thing. She is USED to NOT having kids around. I'd go with the family member.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • ok.....i have 3 children and i had no problem providing them with proper supervision and care. if your friend's back is too hurt to clean up her own house, get a job or care for her own child, i'm not sure why you think they are such a great candidate in your opinion. i think the reasons you cited to exclude your sil from the job are flimsy at best, and i agree with your fiance. i would not want my baby to be in a messy house taken care of by someone who can't even take care of her own kid. i do think that your fiance needs to grow up and deal with it in a more mature matter, not resorting to immature things like name calling, etc. but i think he is right. i wonder if the real reason you don't want your sil to watch the baby is because you secretely have something against her?

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:20 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I hardly think a baby will be in any danger in a small house with 2 other children. If you don't like the woman or if you don't trust her then say so. Don't use stupid excuses.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:28 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My husband and I made a promise to eachother BEFORE we got married based on mistakes we saw our parents make and I suggest you guys make a similar promise. .......Never call names and only argue about the subject at hand. .... in other words you keep the petty, hurtful things far away from your relationship.

    Best wishes on your baby and your marriage.

    Answer by ochsamom at 8:50 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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