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Lying! and spitting!! argh!! what to do about it??

My newly just turned 4 last month year old is starting to constantly lie. like saying his sister did something that he did, or lie about being in time out (like i work at his school and if i see him in time out i'll ask him why and he'll say he's not, even though i know he is. or if i put him in time out at home, he'll tell dh he didn't do anything, or that he wasn't in it at all)

today he lied like 10 times! i don't know what to do about it! i've told him it makes me sad, it makes me very upset. i've put him in time out for it, growled at him for it, and even spanked him about it. NOTHING is getting through to him!

as for the spitting, he's always spitting. today he drew the line when he deliberately spit in another kids' face at school today. he got in SOOO much trouble for that [by me]. of course i gave him the "we ONLY spit when we brush our teeth, NOT on our friends" speech. he also got a pop on the butt [one] and had time out.

i'm at a loss at what to do about his behavior...any advice from those that have been through this? i know kids learn this on their own...but jeez!!

Answer Question
 
armywife43

Asked by armywife43 at 10:31 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 21 (11,516 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • WOW!  I would call Super Nanny.  Or at least watch some of her videos and see if you can find one where she deals with those behaviors.  I can't even imagine!  I would lose my shit if my child spit on another.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:33 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My soon to be 4 year old DD is doing that as well. It drives me nuts. I'm hoping it'll be over with, and soon..........................
    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 10:36 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Most 4 year old do NOT understand that they are lying. To them it is the truth and they are telling a story. You just have to keep explaining that what he is doing is lying and if it contiunes he will be punished. As for the spitting, have him stand at a garbage can and spit until he can't spit anymore. I have broken many spitters this way.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:43 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Sounds like he needs some positive attention. He seems to be getting a lot of negative attention right now. Kids who need attention will take any kind they can get. Play ball or a game with him at least once a day. Also make sure you are not accidentally rewarding him with attention when he misbehaves. Put him in time out and walk away.
    RobotLady

    Answer by RobotLady at 10:55 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I'm always giving him positive attention. he gets morning hugs and kisses, and because i work at his school, when i see him i tell him i love him and give him more hugs and kisses, just this saturday him and i planted his first garden...he was so excited about it. even more excited when i showed him yesterday that they were starting to grow! we do family nights, family movie nights, i read bedtime stories, we do prayers together, kisses and hugs goodnight...he's always having positive attention. the only time he doesn't is when he's in trouble, but even then, after time out is over he has to come to me and talk to me, we go over WHY he was in time out (or got a spanking) we talk about why whatever he did was bad, why we shouldn't do it again, and then end up with hugs and kisses. i'm not the type to send them to time out or spank and not make sure they know why they were punished.
    armywife43

    Comment by armywife43 (original poster) at 11:10 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I dont agree that they learn it on their own because they have to have seen it from some one to know how to do it. Do you have older kids that hes around? I have four kids and I see my 3yr old pick up some bad habits from the others some times and he knows too so I just talk to him and let him know what is good and bad and why we dont do that and we dont copy other peoples bad habits. I tjink its just some thing he has picked up right now and it will pass. But you do need to let him know its wrong and you dont like it etc..The time outs and stuff dont seem to be working so you have to think of some thing different like at school. Kids feel more comfortable at home and act out more and at school they dont want the other kids to see them acting bad so maybe try saying to him if he keeps it up them like with spitting he will get a time out at school while the other kids are out side playing.
    butterflies78

    Answer by butterflies78 at 12:42 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • The only thing you can do is recognize her stage and deal with a mommy conversation about what is true and what is a lie...
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 4:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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