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3 Bumps

My husband doesn't want me... adult content

My husband of 9 years (together for 10 years) is never interested in having sex with me. He never initiates sex, most nights just falls asleep and is impossible to wake up. I can't seem to get his attention let alone keep it. And believe me ladies, I've tried EVERYTHING to get his attention, to get him to want me. Often times it leaves me feeling unwanted, undesired etc and he ends up mad at me saying I make too big of a deal out of sex all the time.

I don't know what else to do and I am open to suggestions...even if you tell me to grow up and get over it.

Thanks <3

Answer Question

Asked by daina82 at 10:44 PM on Apr. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (601 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I think feeling unwanted is at number 1 on my list of shitty feelings.  And to top it off, he isn't taking YOUR feelings on it seriously.  I would try to have a sit down conversation with him and explain to him how crappy it feels.  No one should live like that babe, computer hugs to you.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:47 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • talk to him about it. . . maybe he is having issues and is embarrassed bout it. Or it could be that he is just not as sexually involved as you. Not all marriages are full of sex all the time, and if sex is the only thing you are married for IMHO there are other issues to be addressed. . . talk to him. . . maybe he will open up. Tell him how it makes you feel. Sorry that is all I got for ya. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • grow up and get over it LOL j/k Ok can I ask how often do you have sex? Is it maybe a performance issue, physically with him, maybe you need counseling, or have you tried asking and fulfilling a fantasy of his.

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 10:48 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • is it possible that he has erectile dysfunction? I'm not being funny. Maybe he doesn't initiate anything because he won't be able to perform, and that is a big blow to the male ego.

    Answer by LoraGardiner at 10:49 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • Get your hubby to the Dr and have him tested for Low testosterone if he has Low T he WONT have any sex drive, there are also several other things that cause no sex drive as well., Its NOT you that has a problem Its HIM!!!

    Answer by vbruno at 10:50 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • How old is your husband?

    Answer by gramsmom at 10:53 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I wish I knew what to tell you, but I am dealing with the same thing and I'm not sure what to do anymore :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • TALK TALK TALK TALK. Maybe his sex drive is low..maybe hes stressed out.

    but if you dont talk about it..or just confront him about it then nothing will get resolved.

    Say it nicely "like, is everything alright? I don't feel like you're attracted to me anymore? I feel like theres intimacy missing between us and Its making me feel distant from you"

    DONT make it about sex. sex is nothing compared to missing INTIMACY (kissing, hugging,cuddling ect.)

    Maybe try in the morning or afternoon? jump in the shower with him and soap him up? if he doesnt get hard DO NOT get frustrated or angry with him..that will just make more problems. Just brush it off..finish showiering..then later suggest making a Dr. appointment. Good luck

    Answer by SweetPoison at 10:59 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • I probably should have mentioned he is a ''recovering'' porn addict but I guess I myself am trying to move on from that. We've had sex twice in the last 45 days and no sex isnt everything and I dont expect sex everyday but once a week would be nice. Seriously we dont even have to have sex...just some interaction, old fashion making out but I get nothing.
    I have recently googled test. levels and so on and I do feel he needs testing done of some sort. Not just because of he lack of sex but also because how much and easily he sleeps. I swear he has narcolepsy!

    Thanks again!

    Comment by daina82 (original poster) at 11:00 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

  • My husband is 30 years old

    Comment by daina82 (original poster) at 11:03 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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