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4 Bumps

Does my ''recovering'' porn addicted husband have a right to privacy? adult content

After finding ALL the stuff I found in our joint e-mail account and our paypal account I went into his personal e-mail account and was astounded by what I found. Then I stumbled upon another persona e-mail account he had that I was unaware of.

Does he have a right to privacy after everything?
Do I have a right to continue to go through his e-mail?


Asked by daina82 at 12:22 AM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (601 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Wow, I actually have to disagree with Dr.Donna. It is not as cut and dry as "accept it or move on." Relationships are about give and take, compromise as well as acceptance. He is doing something that is detrimental to their relationship, she has asked him to stop, and not only has he not, it appears that he has greatly damaged her trust along the way. I am a firm believer that trust is the largest cornerstone of a strong marriage. I also think that she has every right to ask him to stop spending money on an out of control habit and he has every obligation to stop.
    If he has been blatantly lying about not using chats/webcam, and opening secret e-mail accounts to be deceptive about it, I think that you have the right to look into it. Where I think the distrust becomes mutual is when you invade his privacy without informing him, or giving him a chance to be forthright about it. Don't lose his trust just because he lost yours.

    Answer by Its.Me.T. at 8:00 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Everyone has a right to privacy.

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 8:09 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Everyone has the right to privacy especially if they are an adult

    Answer by christinahenry at 1:16 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Well, trust needs to be rebuilt, so I think you should have access to his emails/paypal/etc until you feel that he has recovered, and that you feel you can trust him. However, it goes both ways, he should have access to your accounts, as well.

    Answer by laird6372 at 2:46 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • what's wronge w/ porn, i'd rather he watch porn then cheat!!! he does have rights to privacy unless he can't be trusted.

    Answer by Pixie81 at 4:39 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Whatever you are comfortable with. Personally I think everyone has a right to privacy but then again I'm not married

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:25 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • ONLY, If he has been convicted of a crime ?

    Other wise, NO ?

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:38 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He does have a right to privacy and you can't make him stop using something that is perfectly legal to use. You are going to have to decide if you are comfortable staying in a marriage with a man who uses porn. Your behavior is the only behavior you control. Since the man you married is a package deal, either you figure out a way to make yourself okay with his "hobby" or you decide to dissolve the relationship. Thinking that you'll be able to control his behavior isn't going to provide your relationship with anything productive. You won't trust him (cause you'll always be thinking that he's trying to "get away" with the thing you are trying to keep him from) and he'll get frustrated at not being able to live his life the way he wants and constantly feeling like he's being denied something.

    Good luck to you.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:15 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He's a grown man and deserves a right to privacy. Everyone does. You will also need to build up trust in him and spying on him isn't the way to go about it.

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 8:45 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Yes, he does have the right to privacy, if what you've put here is the whole story and it's just about porn. If he'd cheated, I'd say you should have access until the trust is rebuilt. But porn is not cheating, it's totally legal, and to me, it's a personal choice that each person makes as to whether or not they want to watch it. You have no right to stop him from watching it. What you DO have the right to do is to decide if you can live with the fact that he watches it, and if you can't, to end the relationship and move on to someone who shares the same views of it as you.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:32 AM on Apr. 21, 2011