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Why won't my bf be honest and just say he watches porn instead of lying about it?

My bf and i have been together 2 yrs now. when my bf and I first met he watched porn. So we talked about it and he stopped about 8 months ago. Will now he's back on it. Why won't he tell me so I can help him quit again? And why does it even bother me so much?

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Asianqueen505

Asked by Asianqueen505 at 1:10 AM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Because Men Lie and they will
    christinahenry

    Answer by christinahenry at 1:13 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He's probably embarassed if you knew. My hubby was embarassed when I found out. I told him not to be, I'd rather he do that then cheat. It still took him awhile to get over the fact I knew, so to make him feel better I started watching it w/ him, to prove it doesn't bother me. Now he's fine w/ it, and doesn't try to hurry to turn the TV off when I walk in the room. LOL I don't really care to watch porn I just did it a few times to prove to him, it's ok.
    Pixie81

    Answer by Pixie81 at 1:24 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • How old are you? Why does he need to stop? He's not telling you because he knows it bothers you and you want him to stop but he doesn't. My husband is 4yrs older then me and we meed when I was 18yrs. and when we moved in together and yeah he watched porn too yeah it bothered me because I was like whats the deal I'm here. I dont really get into it its not my thing but now it doesnt bother me as much as before. So its no big thing. I thought it was too but just let him he's going to any ways and the more you get on him too and its only going to make you mad for nothing.
    butterflies78

    Answer by butterflies78 at 1:25 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • he lies because he doesn't want to disappoint you. he's afraid of your reaction. i had the same problem. but i got tired of fighting over porn that i tried to include myself & ask to watch with him. well i had to say "watch with me" instead of "can i watch with you" so it wouldn't be so imposing. i eventually learned to accept and somewhat like it. when i let go of the issue, our relationship became much healthier. i'm not saying this is the solution for you, just offering my experience to contrast with yours. although i still feel weird about him watching, i'm no longer threatened or disgusted by it. the porn only became a big issue when i made a problem of it.
    rAbella

    Answer by rAbella at 1:27 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Honestly hun, you can't make a guy stop being a guy. It has nothing to do with you at all. He's attracted to other women just like you are with men. It's human nature. Also I think it bothers all of us, I caught my fiance looking at it when I was pregnant it did a toll to me ego, but now I realize that it wasn't because of anything about the way I looked it's just what guys do. It's part of the ruetine. But if you still worried about it, you could talk to him and see if theres maybe a fantasy or any kind of fetishes he may like to experience with you that he may have been too scared to bring up before this may be a way to spice things up and make you feel better. Or you could always watch it with him haha!
    AydensMommy13

    Answer by AydensMommy13 at 1:28 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He does not want you to know, he can not control his-self.
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:35 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Too funny.....mine looks at porn a great deal too. It does bother me a little only due to female insecurities and wondering if he liked how they look better. I tried the talking thing with him too, and said that I know he's a perv and looks. Still to this day he will try and deny he's looked. He doesn't know a lot about computers and the fact that you can look at the history for the day and see whats been looked at. At one point and time, I was able to site which exact "clips" he was looking at,lol. He got sort of upset and asked if I was spying on him, which maybe I was, only because I know he was looking and tries to lie about it. I agree that men are men and will look but I also have come to the conclusion that as long as he's still being attentive to me and porn doesn't take place of our intimacy, then its something I have to learn to deal with. I;m not a big porn watcher myself but if it's not harming us then wth,right?
    CopingMom33

    Answer by CopingMom33 at 7:54 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Judgement!?
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 8:13 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I think it's because he knows it is wrong and doesn't want to stop. You don't lie about something when there is nothing wrong with it.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:45 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • You figure if he's lying about something so insignificant as watching porn, he'll lie about the big stuff.


    My ex denied it to the extreme...and then one morning I came home unexpectedly and caught him "red-handed," so to speak.

    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 12:54 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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