i've been with my BF for 3 years now. i thought we were strong- he's never treated me wrong. we've had our ups and downs, as all relationships. He doesnt do drugs, never really got into legal trouble (aside from parking tickets)... entering college in June, has a solid future
But then there's my son's biological dad. mentally/emotionally/physically abuse when we were together, raped me, pimped me out, etc... a complete deadbeat- doesnt pay CS, doesnt see his child (6 years- involved for half of a month!), he's in and out of prison/jail/rehab. this last time, seemed to have done him good- but he still has no future- seems like he doesnt want to work towards a future.
so why do i still bend over backwards whenever i hear from my ex? i dont bring my son along b/c i dont want him to get attached, then dad disappear again. (son does know who dad is, but prefers my BF).
i just dont know! when i think of living with somebody, my ex pops up- NOT my boyfriend. when i think of cuddling with someone, its my ex, not BF... (although sexually, i think of BF-- i am sexually attracted to him. i feel gross thinking of my ex in a sexual manner).
what the fuck is wrong with me? i know who's the better choice... i know who i'd rather have as a father/father figure for my son- and my future children! so why am i thinking of my ex in this manner?
(DS would get to know him- as long as he stuck around for more than a few weeks. i seen him tonight and most likely, we'll talk for about 2 weeks, then he'll disappear for another 5 months... i want consistency in DS's life and BD cannot provide that for him... ex does ask about him, wants to see him, but doesnt put forth the effort to see him; drug tests, visitation, etc)
i feel like i need to break up with my BF and figure out whats going on/how i feel... but i'll be honest- i dont think it'd work!
Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by firepony at 1:32 AM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by amythist615 at 4:35 AM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by mommie2twogirls at 5:41 AM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by buzymamaof3 at 8:44 AM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:40 PM on Apr. 21, 2011