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Feeling Overwhelmed...

We have 4 kids. 3 are having developmental/education issues, and it's HARD.

Our oldest is 8. She has ADHD and was just diagnosed with depression. She doesn't live with us, however, DH is the one who ensured SD was tested for ADHD and learning disabilities. SD is being tested this week for LD, and was tested last year for ADHD after my DH took it to Court. She is on the K-1st grade level for most of her work, but is in 2nd grade (and has already repeated one grade). It's hard trying to help and at the same time to manage when we do not live in-state (her mother only medicates her, doesn't try anything else).

DS is 3. He has speech issues and he saw a psychologist who thinks he either has OCD or Asperger's. We are waiting for an appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician to see if he feels DS has either of those. We've already enrolled DS into the local elementary school to start speech therapy.

Our youngest DD is 1. She is developmentally behind on 50-75% of her milestones. They tested her at 9 days shy of 12 months, and I was told if she was 12 months old, she would have qualified because she would be greatly behind. However, she was rated using the 9 month scale (which covered 9-11 months), and was a few points shy of meeting the score to receive services, so now she's being followed via phone until she is old enough for an evaluation at 15 months (2 months away).

Our oldest DD had occupational and physical therapy when she was 1.5-2.

Not ONE of our children has gone without some sort of special services or needed services. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that there's a dang thing wrong with our children--they are PERFECT. It's just hard to handle 3 of our 4 kids all at once needing special services/help. I need some tips/ideas on how to destress and not feel so overwhelmed. I will do whatever is needed for the kids, but as a SAHM, with my DH working all the time, I am the one who has to handle the issues for DS and youngest DD...Any ideas?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Health

Answers (6)
  • Make sure to take time for yourself. Even if you have lock yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes.. I have 5 and my oldest has ODD and when I am at the breaking point it always helps me.

    Mazie0723

    Answer by Mazie0723 at 5:18 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I have been in your shoes. It's not easy, that's for sure.

    Do you have some kind of support system in place? My DH worked all the time and the burden of EVERYTHING fell on my shoulders. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my family to cry to sometimes.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • No, we don't live near any family, and I haven't made any new friends here yet. So I'm pretty much all alone. I can talk to family and friends on the phone, but we are too far to visit
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:17 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • ah man that seems soo hard! sorry to hear it. im in a "individuals with disabilities" class and i have learned all about the 504 plan and IDEA act. l i could suggest would be to take advantage of those full throttle so that your kids will have as many accommodations as possible. You could ask for an aide to follow or help out ur child at school, or a tutor. By law, once requested to the teacher, the teacher must ask for financial aide for this in order to provide the accommodation. if you Also, this is highly unlikely, but is there any way you could move closer to your family? Or at least have that in mind for the next couple of years. you can message me....i have more juicy info where that came from!
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 1:19 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • No, we can't move closer. My DH is military and we aren't stationed in the U.S. right now. So if we moved, the kids would be without DH for however long he is here.

    Right now, only our oldest is in Elementary school. Our DS and one of our DDs are preschool age (DS is in preschool, DD starts in September), so their school isn't required to do anything special.

    I am working with them as much as I can, and they are making progress, but it's hard, because *I* am not trained to do it, so I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, especially with youngest DD (who is 1). With DS, I'm working on pronunciation for his speech, but can't help with whatever issue he is having (OCD or Aspergers) until I know what's going on.

    I know it's not my fault that all of this is happening with them, but still, I can't help but feel like a bad mom because of it... :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:24 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • sorry youre having a hard time mama
    asil

    Answer by asil at 11:35 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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