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4 Bumps

Husband question???

Has anyone here ever felt different towards their husband after having a child? For example not as close or not as sexual towards him, but you still LOVE him very much!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • No i think having a child strengthened our bond.

    Liamsmom09

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 10:25 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • no not really maybe a little harder because the baby calls to be watched.alot. but my husband and I are still very close and are still very sexual.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:27 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I did not ever feel that way and we had three children and lost a fourth. I see this question a lot, though, from younger women, and I'm not sure what the problem is. I think that it could be that it has to do with how the bonding process took place from the beginning of the marital relationship. If that was based more on the physical attraction rather than on what two people actually have in common so far as interests, goals and basic philosophies about life, then I can understand how having a child would certainly put a damper on that. My advice to you is to look for ways to demonstrate your love for your husband that have nothing to do with the physical. I believe that when you do that, the feelings of attraction may return. I guess what I'm saying is try to relate to him on a level that is deeper than the physical. Listen carefully to his every word and learn to relate to him based on what you hear him saying to you
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:29 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Yes, I did the first few months after our first baby was born.. I was tired a lot and had my hands full so almost all of my energy went to the baby.. Soon tho, things leveled out and went back to normal but plus one baby lol...
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 10:33 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Yes, things have changed for us, not for the best. I am a SAHM and all my time and energy are spent on the kids. He works two jobs, and when he finally gets home, I am too tired to spend time with him, so that does cause us to be distant. We do try, though. I love him dearly. As far as sex, its like another chore on my never ending to do list....Not a top priority anymore.
    AngieBry

    Answer by AngieBry at 10:33 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I think I get what you mean :) It lasted a short while, maybe a few weeks with our DD who's now 3mo. It was when I'd look at him all I saw was my DD daddy, i didn't see a DH. It's really hard to explain lol He wasn't doing anything wrong, I think we were (and still are) both just so into our new baby, and of course there was no intercourse for six weeks :) My husband has always been extremely sexy to me, but there for a while I was like, eww that's my DD daddy lol. But its better and back to normal now.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 10:33 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • i would have to say i have too... but like you i do love him very much still and always will not for the fact that he is the father of our children but cause he is a great and loving husband to me.. but for me it has a lot to do with disagreements on raising our children and it's something that i guess i need to work on cause i don't like to be wrong even if i know he's right so it turns me away sexually.. my husband still does turn me on i just need to find it in myself to just get over things.
    lynnlang

    Answer by lynnlang at 11:11 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • we are expecting in Aug i just thought it would make us closer
    ChanQ

    Answer by ChanQ at 12:01 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I felt a little distant too at first with our first child. I thought he looked at me different after seeing that big thing come out of me. I found out later that he wasn't disgusted or anything. He didn't think he could satisfy me anymore after such a stretch. Good thing we talked about it. You should give it a try. And be honest.
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 12:05 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • No
    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 12:42 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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